Lara and Carey return to Puerto Vallarta to check in with the San Fernando Valley’s greatest luminaries. But first they discuss tragic news about Lady Martha’s beloved bet bird Hecate, the future of Ladies of London: The New Reign, the artist formerly known as Club Chalamet meeting her match in a fellow Connor Storrie super-fan in Paris, and more details about Taylor Swift’s terrifying wedding at Madison Square Garden.

Back in Mexico, Schwartzapalooza comes to a screeching halt when the crew heads upstairs: Lala stays on Danny’s ass about his anti-Janet social media behavior, Zack channels Pazzazu to yell at his hags, Brittany finally gives Danny a piece of her bags-riddled mind, and Janet begins her fascinating, non-confrontational confrontations by addressing the ceiling, the ground — anywhere but in the direction of Danny and Nia. Doute hangs onto her own version of Luke’s parenting while Danny reveals his PTSD over being called out for sex pestery. On a shopping excursion, Nia lays onto Jinet — with Saerpent by her side — some more, causing Jinet to activate fight or flight mode (talking to herself, trolling Jesse for her massive debt); Michelle reveals Jesse’s zest for colonics.

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Lara and Carey return to the San Fernando to follow up with their favorite denizens of Hades, but first they discuss ‘Disclosure Day,’ Granpapa Speilberg, Emily Blunt’s performance of a lifetime, and thinspo aliens. They also talk the Modelland takeover of the internet, and Tyra Banks’s wonder emporium. Plus, a quick recap of the Summer House bonus episode at the very end!

Back on The Valley, the crew prepares to head to Mexico for the triple birthday extravaganza; Zack and Jasmine get butt facials and Brittany tells Doute she’s over her perma-stanning of Danny & Nia. Then to the Baja they go, and Doute’s travel anxiety gets the best of her, starting in the airport after she’s accosted in the restroom with Kaia by some Bravo fans. Her mood continues to darken, even with the help of her mystery sister Casey and her husband there to help with baby duty, Doute goes full Punisher mode and unleashes her post-partum stress on Luke. Schwartz’s musics festival themed birthday portion of the trip arrives just in time for a fearsome thunderstorm. Glug Glug hoots and hollers, Brittany —tubes out— rages in her GERD glory, Jesse confirms his brokenness, Jinet reveals her bisexual crush on Michelle, Doute sorrow-stomps through the Backrooms of the resort, and Serpent gains strength, biding her time until she strikes…

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Lara and Carey return for one last tango in Charleston (on a soundstage in New York), but first they discuss The Social Reckoning trailer, Mikey Madison’s mysterious line read, and the rindom abyss of X (formerly known as Twitter).

In the final part of the Southern Hospitality season four reunion, Emmy rounds out her confounding apology over Unsafe Gate, and Brad —rightfully— is unconvinced. Emmy evokes “As Such” once more when Will is once again mentioned. Justin explains his fluid sexuality, fights off gay baiter claims (while managing a microagression of his own); Michols and Lake go to war against Justin over Jordyn. Lake and Mia spar after Lake tells Mia she’s not a Girl’s Girl; Maddi talks her frozen eggs and she and Joe reveal their plans to make it official (moving in together). A Republic divided, all under a crescent moon and palmetto tree.

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