Stop what you're doing. Seriously. Pull over if you have to, because this episode features one of the most iconic voices in the history of sex education, adult entertainment, and the non-monogamy movement — and she showed up ready to talk about everything.

Adam and Pris sit down with the legendary Nina Hartley — adult film performer, sex educator, activist, and someone who has been living intentional non-monogamy since before half of you were born. We're talking decades of swinging, triads, and fearless advocacy for pleasure, consent, and honest human connection.

This one goes deep. Like, deep deep.

• How Nina knew she was non-monogamous before she even knew what sex was — and what middle school dreams about "a room full of naked people" have to do with it
• Her first triad at 22 — and why it ended (spoiler: it wasn't the three-person structure, it was the two people she picked)
• Being the youngest swinger in every room by 15 years — in the 1980s
• Why pleasure is a birthright — and how Zen Buddhism and mindfulness connect directly to your sex life
• The truth about forgiveness nobody wants to hear (you don't have to, and Adam's mind was genuinely blown)
• Nina's breakdown of why porn is "a weird amalgamation of Monster Truck rallies and bad dinner theater" — and why it's ruining how young people approach the lifestyle
• The manosphere, toxic masculinity, and why men need to start calling out other men
• Practical gang bang planning: timelines, the audition process, the five-guy framework, and the genius concept of the gang bang doula
• Performance anxiety in the lifestyle — what Ro actually does (and doesn't) do, and why some guys just should not go to swing parties
• Does size matter? Nina breaks it down by the percentages
• Narcissistic abuse — and why it took Nina 18 years to leave
• "Man-keeping" — the concept that explains a whole lot about modern dating

Nina Hartley is sharp, funny, brutally honest, and genuinely one of the most fascinating humans we've ever had in our chairs. This is one of those episodes you'll probably listen to twice.

👉 Find every episode, video clips, blog posts, our events calendar, and the 100% anonymous Beyond Confessional at www.beyond-monogamy.com

📍 San Antonio listeners: We'll be at Club Eden on June 20th at 9PM. Come hang with us in person. Details at the link above.

If this episode hit, do us a solid — subscribe, leave a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts, and share this with somebody who needs to hear it. It helps more than you know.

QUICKIE: We Skipped Consent at a Lifestyle Club (And Pris Owns It)

Pris went full chaos agent at a lifestyle club — and she owns every second of it.

In this QUICKIE, Adam and Pris break down a real moment that happened to them recently: Pris spotted a hot couple, approached the woman, confirmed she was bisexual, and somehow ended up in a play room within about 60 seconds — all before anyone had a real conversation about it. The good news? She caught herself, pumped the brakes, apologized on the spot, and followed up the next day.

What came out of that moment is a genuinely important conversation about the difference between enthusiasm and enthusiastic consent, how to exit a situation you're not feeling, the pressure people face when they don't know how to say no, and what real accountability looks like in the lifestyle.

TOPICS COVERED

[00:01:00] — How it started: complimenting the couple from across the room
[00:02:00] — The approach: Pris confirms the woman is bi, grabs her hand, and... goes
[00:03:00] — The cubby: everyone's in, nobody knows what's happening
[00:03:45] — Pris reads the room and pumps the brakes
[00:05:00] — The apology, in real time and the next morning
[00:07:00] — What Pris did right (the initial approach was actually solid)
[00:08:30] — Enthusiastic consent vs. enthusiasm — they are not the same
[00:11:00] — The bathroom exit: a smooth and underrated escape tactic
[00:14:00] — Building a pre-approach ritual with your partner
[00:16:00] — Creative ways to exit a situation when saying "no" feels hard
[00:17:00] — When men assume something is owed to them (and why that's a problem)
[00:20:00] — The guy who gave Adam a high five mid-sex and the friend who just... chatted
[00:23:00] — What defines you in the lifestyle: how you handle your mistakes

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- Enthusiasm is not consent. Always get the enthusiastic yes before things move forward.
- The bathroom exit is a completely valid escape — and kudos to anyone who uses it gracefully.
- Real accountability is rare in this community. Owning your mistake, apologizing, and following up is not just the right move — it's actually kind of hot.
- Build a pre-approach ritual with your partner so spontaneity doesn't turn into a consent gap.
- Saying no is hard for a lot of people. Don't ever put someone in a position where they feel like they can't.

EVENTS & COMMUNITY

Live show every Thursday at 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central on FullSwapRadio.com

Live Beyond Monogamy Event — June 20th at Club Eden, San Antonio. 9 PM start. Membership required. Details at beyond-monogamy.com/events

CONNECT & MORE

Everything lives at beyond-monogamy.com — episodes, blogs, events, merch, and our 100% anonymous confessional.

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Today we are going there. Full send.

Adam and Pris sit down with Courtney Brame — founder of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP), host of a podcast with over 350 episodes, 500-hour certified yoga teacher, co-author of a sex education book, and one of the few men of color leading the national conversation on HSV stigma. Courtney was diagnosed with genital HSV-2 in 2013. Instead of shrinking from it, he turned that experience into a full-on movement — one that has helped thousands of people reclaim their identity, their sexuality, and their sanity after a herpes diagnosis.

This episode is not just for people who are HSV positive. It is for anyone who has ever had sex, is having sex, or is planning to have more of it. Which, if you're in the lifestyle, is all of you.

• Courtney's origin story — how a Saturday morning at his grandmother's house led to founding a 501(c)3 nonprofit that has saved lives
• Why 36% of people report suicidal ideation after a herpes diagnosis — and why Courtney decided that was unacceptable
• The truth about HSV-1 vs. HSV-2 — and why your middle school health class completely failed you
• Cold sores. Yeah. Those. We're going there.
• The lifestyle's unspoken assumption that "nobody here has anything" — and why that assumption is the actual problem
• How to have the disclosure conversation — Courtney literally walks us through his real-life script, word for word
• Why communicative sex is the safest sex — and what that actually looks like before clothes come off
• The 360-degree analogy that reframes everything you think you know about what a diagnosis means for your identity
• How yoga therapy became a cornerstone of Courtney's healing framework — and why nervous system regulation matters more than you think

Plus: Pris gets completely honest about her own ignorance around HSV, Adam gets real about the "turn off the anxiety brain mid-play" problem, and both of them leave the conversation humbled, educated, and genuinely better equipped to have these conversations in the community.

Find everything Courtney is building at spfpp.org — support groups (Mondays, separate men's and women's), one-on-one peer support, yoga therapy, ongoing surveys, resources, and more. Go find your people. They are there.

And as always, everything from Beyond Monogamy — every episode, video clip, blog post, events tab, and our 100% anonymous confessional — lives at www.beyond-monogamy.com.

If this episode hit different, you already know what to do. Like it. Share it. Leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Word of mouth is how we grow this community.