Showing results by narrator "Benjamin Powell" in All Categories

You find out your childhood friend might just be a serial killer. What would you do? Try to kill him? Or report him to the police that you know won't be able to contain him? Gabriel Connolly struggles with what’s right. Then, when he’s faced with pure evil, and realizes he has no choice, he tries to drown his soul-less friend in a river. But evil doesn't die. And that’s just the start of Gabriel's new nightmare. You can’t cheat death, that’s the catch.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a conversation thinking, “I have no idea what I’m talking about”—this book is your salvation. In The Bullsht Artist’s Handbook*, self-proclaimed overthinker and professional nonsense generator Dicholas Chad Pansy offers a brutally honest, wildly practical guide to dominating conversations, debates, meetings, and social events with zero actual knowledge. No degrees, facts, or preparation required—just the audacity to sound like you know what you’re doing.

Packed with toxic affirmations, unnecessary rants, and advice so bad it circles back to genius, Ruin Your Life Now is like a car crash you can’t stop watching—except the car is your life and you’re the one behind the wheel, blindfolded.

This is not a self-help book. This is a self-detachment book. If you’re ready to become an unshakable force of calm indifference, to stop letting life stress you out, and to fully embrace the Stoic art of not giving a single damn, this is the book for you.

ATTENTION, WALKING RED FLAG: Do you panic when someone texts, “I miss you”? Have you ghosted someone while still liking all their Instagram posts? Does the idea of an actual healthy relationship make you want to jump out of a moving vehicle? CONGRATULATIONS. YOU MAY BE ENTIRELY INCAPABLE OF LOVE. But don’t worry—this book is not here to fix you. Instead, it will celebrate your terrible dating habits with: A step-by-step guide to self-sabotaging any relationship before it gets serious. The “Should I Text Them Back?” flowchart (spoiler: you won’t).

From the chaotically overwhelmed mind of bestselling author Dicholas Chad Pansy comes the first-ever survival guide for empaths who have absolutely no idea how to stop absorbing other people’s problems like an unpaid emotional support sponge.

For generations, whispers of an ancient manuscript—the Codex Vitae—have lingered in the shadows, a book said to hold the key to knowledge beyond human understanding. But when young Samuel stumbles upon a long-buried secret on his family’s farm, he unknowingly reignites a centuries-old hunt for forbidden truths. Alongside his uncle Ulises, Samuel embarks on a perilous journey to uncover the truth behind his great-great-grandfather’s disappearance, a forgotten cave, and a book that was never meant to be found. But they are not the only ones searching.

The roots of the Agent J universe were established in the first book, The Shadows of Agent J in what seemed to be a confusing, clinking, clanking, clattering collection of caliginous vignettes (tiny storyettes). That anthology was in fact, a collection of puzzle pieces that will appear in future Agent J books . . . including this one. Ultimately, this will lead to an explanation of the stratospheric Holy Sequence and the Holy Darkness that is metastasizing, bringing chaos to mankind.

Agent J seems to be everywhere and at every point in time. And who really is Natasha? A series of seemingly unconnected clues, that are found in what appear to be disjointed cliff-hanger vignettes, lead you deeper in a world where science, religion, peculiarities, absurd humor, historical twists, and conundrums collide and blend into a strange porridge. This collection of short, noir detective-ish stories builds the foundation of the Agent J universe. As author JT Dwyer puts it, "You are holding in your hands what may be the most extraordinary and unorthodox book I have ever encountered."

"Mr. Perfectionist" is a compelling novel that explores the life of a man who has always strived to be the best in everything he does. From his academic pursuits to his professional career and personal relationships, he has always been driven by a need to excel and be perfect. As he faces his inner demons and struggles to find balance in his life, he discovers that perfection is not the key to happiness. Through his journey of self-discovery, he learns to embrace imperfection, accept his flaws, and live a more fulfilling life.

Meet history's original keyboard warrior—except with quills, imprisonment, and better one-liners. In "Voltaire's Mic Drop," Sophia Blackwell delivers a hilarious and irreverent guide to François-Marie Arouet (aka Voltaire), the 18th-century French philosopher who trolled kings, priests, and fellow intellectuals with such devastating wit that he had to flee across national borders multiple times to avoid imprisonment.

This book won't change your life—because you're the only one who can do that, and let's be honest, you probably won't. But it will make you laugh, cringe in recognition, and maybe—just maybe—inspire you to stop blaming the universe for your problems and start making actual changes.

Are you tired of thinking until your brain hurts? Sick of caring about every little disaster life throws at you? Done with the “personal growth” scam that just leaves you broke and eating kale? Then Live, Laugh, Lobotomy is your ticket to freedom—the kind that comes from ditching stress, worries, and any shred of responsibility for a lifestyle of cheerful, blissful vacancy. This isn’t your grandma’s self-help book; it’s a sarcastic, biting manifesto for erasing overthinking and embracing the art of not giving a damn.

Are you one minor inconvenience away from a full-blown existential crisis? Do you regularly Google how to do your own job while hoping nobody notices? Ever sat in a meeting nodding thoughtfully while having no clue what’s happening? Congratulations! You’re just like everyone else. This book is a highly questionable, deeply unserious guide to: Looking like you have your life together while internally screaming.

"Therapy is Expensive, So I Just Gaslight Myself" is the ultimate self-help book for people who have absolutely no intention of helping themselves. Filled with bad coping mechanisms, self-deception strategies, and the sheer audacity to pretend everything is fine, this book is here to validate your disastrous life choices.

WARNING: This is NOT a book for decisive people. If you know what you want in life and confidently make choices without having a full-blown existential meltdown, please move along. This book is for overthinkers, procrastinators, and chronically indecisive disasters who would rather launch themselves into the sun than commit to literally anything.

Congratulations! You’ve found yet another self-help book that you’ll skim through, feel briefly inspired by, and then completely ignore while continuing to make the same bad decisions.

Finally, a philosophy book that doesn't take itself as seriously as the theorists it eviscerates! Nothing Means Anything mercilessly skewers postmodernism's most pretentious thinkers with savage wit and zero academic mercy.

What the Hell tears into Ludwig Wittgenstein—history's most insufferable genius—with savage wit and zero academic pretension. Journey through the mind-bending contradictions of a trust-fund philosopher who claimed to solve all philosophical problems (twice!), while making everyone around him miserable. Discover how a man who couldn't maintain a single healthy relationship somehow revolutionized our understanding of language, meaning, and communication.

In this mercilessly funny takedown, Jean-Jacques Rousseau—history's most insufferable philosopher—gets the roasting he so richly deserves. Noble Savage, Deadbeat Dad exposes the spectacular hypocrisy of a man who abandoned five children at orphanages while writing the definitive guide to education, preached natural virtue while exposing himself to strangers, and railed against wealth while living off rich patrons.