Showing results by author "Dustin Gross" in All Categories

Odin’s got one eye, Thor’s got zero brains, and Loki’s got no morals. Welcome to Norse Mythology—like you’ve never seen it before!

In this wildly irreverent fantasy parody, four extremely unqualified adventurers are chosen to save the world—or at least not make it worse. Grogthar the Blood-Spiller: a shirtless barbarian with more biceps than brain cells. Tinsel: an elven rogue with sticky fingers and zero morals. Kevin: a depressed necromancer whose horse might be more competent than he is. Arlandio DuFlair: a bard with the libido of a god and the self-awareness of a rock.

In the small town of Fartsville, USA, a cow appeared—mysteriously, majestically, and profoundly flatulent. Her name is Betsy, and her wind carries prophecy. The Divine Udderance is a hilariously holy satire of modern faith, influencer culture, capitalism, and the sheer absurdity of worshipping a gas-blessed bovine. From jazz-fueled fart battles to gluten-free miracles, Betsy’s tale is one of unexpected enlightenment, complete with jazz bands, TikTok prophets, National Guard conversions, and a child who decodes her toots in Morse code.

Doom awaits…or so Mortimer Gravewhisper hopes. A tiny, brooding gnome obsessed with the inevitable, he sets out on a quest for ultimate despair—only to accidentally become a hero. With a sarcastic necromancer, an unstoppable cow, and a very confused prophecy, Mortimer’s journey proves that doom is frustratingly elusive… and hilarious.

Basic training was a disaster. His first mission was worse. But somehow, Private Johnny Durham is still alive—and that’s the real miracle. What happens when the world’s most unlucky soldier stumbles his way through the ranks of the U.S. Army? Absolute chaos.

"The Great Antarctic Mystery" follows Traci the Penguin, her adventurous husband Dustin, and their curious daughter Lizzie as they embark on a journey inspired by a glowing, ancient map Dustin discovers.

Shut Up, Change Your Socks, and Drink Some Damn Water is a brutally honest, hilariously vulgar field manual for life—served with a shot of military-grade wisdom and zero sugarcoating.

Whether you’re dealing with needy coworkers, guilt-tripping relatives, or friends who only show up when they need a favor, this audiobook arms you with real-world strategies—and laugh-out-loud lines—to say no like a pro.

Mudwater is not a village of heroes. It’s a wretched stain on the map, a place where men toil, starve, and die beneath the weight of feudal cruelty. The taxman takes what little they have, the Baron bleeds them dry, and the gods—if they even exist—have long since turned their backs. Jacques the Lame knows this better than anyone. A crippled former soldier, he has spent his years rotting in the filth, hunting rats for copper and drinking away the memories of wars fought for lords who never knew his name.

A laugh-out-loud survival guide for middle school mischief-makers! Charlie McGillicutty isn’t a troublemaker—he’s a scientist of chaos. Unfortunately, his latest experiment (involving a hamster-powered rocket) goes slightly wrong, earning him permanent lunch duty and a ridiculous punishment: write the Ultimate Guide to Being a Kid… or else.

Did you know that Zeus had the impulse control of a reality TV star on a bender? That Poseidon settled his grudges with tsunamis? Or that Ares was the god of war but somehow still managed to lose fights? Divine Dysfunction is a wild, sarcastic deep dive into the Greek and Roman gods who ruled the cosmos but couldn’t rule their own lives.

They told him to shrink. He chose to suplex society instead. Ricky "Napalm" Stubbs just got fired for body-slamming a vending machine—and that was before the smart scale insulted his BMI in a British accent. Unemployed, overweight, and overwhelmingly pissed off, Ricky creates the Chunky Combat Club: a secret underground league for misfits who are thicc, ticked, and totally over it.

The sacred. The sinful. The stupid. Tequila is all of it—and this is your lime-salted, smoke-soaked guide to surviving it. There are books about tequila—and then there’s this unholy gospel of agave-fueled madness. The Book of Tequila: Glory, Regret, and Other Sacred Traditions is your laugh-out-loud, profanity-laced, weirdly informative guide to the most dangerous spirit on Earth.

Adulting is a scam, and you’ve been tricked into playing. Bills, burnout, awkward family gatherings—nobody warned you it’d be this chaotic. How to Survive Life Without Totally Screwing It Up is the brutally honest, laugh-out-loud survival guide you didn’t know you needed. Packed with real talk, questionable advice, and the reassurance that nobody has it figured out, this book is your go-to for navigating life’s absurdity with (mostly) your sanity intact.

Struggling to function as a responsible adult? You’re not alone. How to Put On Your Underwear and Other Life Hacks is your brutally honest, laugh-out-loud guide to surviving everyday chaos—bad alarms, awkward small talk, and grocery store blackouts. Because let’s be real: adulting is a scam, and we’re all winging it.

They stole his bread. They mocked his speech. Now, he's taking it all back—one quack at a time. Meet Thaddaeus McQuack: a furious, foul-mouthed duck with a grudge the size of a city pond and a speech impediment that only makes his threats funnier. After a mime-related incident lands him in a zoo, Thaddaeus breaks free—and declares war on mankind. With a deranged cockatoo named Steve, a flying squirrel militia, and a revolution built on stale bread and pure rage, Duck Off: The Quack Chronicles is a wild, action-packed satire you never knew you needed.

Love watches but don’t have a trust fund? Think collecting great timepieces means spending thousands? Think again. Watches for the Rest of Us is the ultimate guide to building a killer watch collection—without breaking the bank. From $50 Casios to $500 Seikos, this book shows you how to find hidden gems, avoid scams, and buy the right watches for the right reasons—all while keeping your bank account intact.

The Bible: History’s most dramatic, chaotic, and WTF-inducing book... now with 100% more sarcasm. Ever wondered why God created a talking snake, why Noah willingly signed up for the worst cruise in history, or why the Book of Revelation reads like a metal album fever dream? Welcome to HOLY WTF, the irreverent, side-splittingly funny deep dive into the weirdest, wildest, and most WTF moments in the Bible. With sharp wit, dark humor, and surprisingly insightful biblical analysis, HOLY WTF is perfect for skeptics, believers, history nerds, and anyone who thinks theology could use a little comedy.

Damien is a washed-up exorcist who never believed in happy endings—until one of his cursed blog posts goes viral. Now he’s “The Loveorcist,” a foul-mouthed, whiskey-loving relationship guru for the haunted and heartbroken. Too bad his most persistent fan is a beautiful demon named Lilith…who might be falling for him.

Drink Like a Legend. Or at Least Like a Pirate. Rum is more than just a drink—it’s a lifestyle, a statement, and possibly the best bad decision you’ll ever make. Whether you’re a rum rookie or a seasoned sipper, this book delivers hard-earned wisdom, hilarious insights, and a guide to drinking rum like a legend.