Showing results by narrator "Jonathan Sleep" in All Categories

After the devastating events at Zodiac Academy, we have to deal with this hollow reality we're faced with. Lionel seeks to destroy us, the Nymphs seek to destroy the entire Fae race, and between all of it, we have to try and survive each day and prove our worth in this forsaken place. I'm afraid of everything falling apart, but it looks like it already has. Death lurks around every corner, and it wants to claim me and my sister. But together, we will overcome the darkness that seeks to defeat us.

The stars have cursed us all. After the devastating events at Zodiac Academy, we have to deal with this hollow reality we're faced with. Lionel seeks to destroy us, the Nymphs seek to destroy the entire Fae race, and between all of it, we have to try and survive each day and prove our worth in this forsaken place. I'm afraid of everything falling apart, but it looks like it already has. Death lurks around every corner, and it wants to claim me and my sister. But together, we will overcome the darkness that seeks to defeat us.

Deeming the Whore's Head Inn no longer safe to hide in, the gang decide to take a more proactive role in their pursuit to get back to reality, or at least to keep Mordred from doing so.

Tim and his friends find out the hard way that you shouldn't question the game master, and you shouldn't make fun of his cape. One minute, they're drinking away the dreariness of their lives, escaping into a fantasy game and laughing their asses off. The next minute, they're in a horse-drawn cart surrounded by soldiers pointing crossbows at them.

Swords. Sorcery. Dick Jokes. Truly do the gods smile upon you, dear listener, for the first four books in the hilarious Caverns and Creatures series are now available in one audiobook set. Join Tim, Dave, Julian, and Cooper as they are thrown into a hostile fantasy world filled with magic and monsters, and ruled over by a cruel and sadistic game master who taunts and harasses them while he sits back and eats their fried chicken.

The Boss of the Shadow District has fallen, and the Clans who seized power aren't happy—especially those whose interests I inadvertently disrupted. Now the list of people who want me dead has grown, with a second offended Grand Prince joining the first. But will that be enough to stop the rising Paladin of Darkness? Well, let them try.

Calexa Acura and her crew of misfits are lost, and their ship is in desperate need of repairs. When a massive spacecraft appears in their radius, they're helpless to resist its magnetic pull. The terrifying ship is bigger than any craft she's seen in her life, and somehow, she doubts its occupants will turn out to be the friendly sort. First Encounters are always better when they're amicable, but if necessary, Calexa and her crew will fight.

Going back home was not exactly what Tim and the C&C gang expected. Trouble continues to follow them back to Gulf Coast Mississippi. Trouble...and a gnome...and an undead midget.

Splitting the party is never a good idea, but sometimes, that's just the hand fate deals you. On Nazere, the gang's plans are cast into the wind when a stubborn foe returns to settle a score. Back in Cardinia, Stacy has her hands full trying to help Dave, while Dave does everything in his power to avoid being helped. Tim and Cooper stagger out of the desert, to find themselves in a whole new world of trouble.

This is a collection of short stories in the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following titles: "They Fight Three Giants", "From the Bowels of Hell Hounds", "Tossing the Salaad", "The Fuccubus", "Fistin' the Furious", and "Pixie Dicks".

This is a collection of the ninth six short stories in the Caverns & Creatures series. It includes the following titles: Look Before You Leak, Bred Dwarf, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Alcoholic Gnome, Don't Get Too Athached, Fool's Gold, and Kiss My Cloaca.

This is a collection of the eighth six short stories in the Caverns & Creatures series. It includes the following titles: This Poo Shall Pass, Hung Ogre, Fortune Favors the Kobold, Asses to Asses, Love on the Rocs, and The Winds of Cooper. If you've already purchased all of these books, there is nothing new for you here. If you haven't yet purchased any, you can save a few bucks by buying this collection. If you've only purchased some of these already, you'll have to do some math.

This is a collection of six short stories from the Caverns and Creatures series. It includes the following stories: "Slimes and Misty Wieners", "Great Balls on Fire", "Your Anus Is a Gas Giant", "Clear and Present Ranger", "The Mimic's Chest", and "Styxian Stoners May Break My Boners".

High in the Canadian Rockies is a small limestone quarry formed 530 million years ago called the Burgess Shale. It holds the remains of an ancient sea where dozens of strange creatures lived—a forgotten corner of evolution preserved in awesome detail. In this book, Stephen Jay Gould explores what the Burgess Shale tells us about evolution and the nature of history.

Sound interesting? The author thinks so too! Listen to Bully for Brontosaurus and learn about natural history.

After Katmere, I shouldn’t be surprised by anything. Including the existence of a world beyond my world called the Shadow Realm. Yet here I am, stuck in a strange, dangerous place with the worst of the supernaturals, the monster that other monsters fear: Hudson Vega. He might be Jaxon’s brother and ridiculously hot, but he’s a complete bona fide pain in my ass. The question is whether we’ll find a way out before I kill him…or run out of time.

Having established leverage over Mordred and influence in the Cardinian government, Tim is ready to move forward with the next phase of his plan. But Mordred has an ace up his sleeve that could shift the balance of power back in his favor. Cooper and Nabi attempt to reunite with the rest of the gang. Stacy and Dave are forced to put their differences aside and work together to avoid capture and execution. Julian tries to find something productive to do while Chaz goes a little too far with the rockstar lifestyle. Katherine is done taking shit from old foes.

In Antarctica, a research expedition discovers an ancient structure buried deep in the ice. In Indonesia, a genetics researcher identifies a breakthrough treatment for autism. But these two incredible discoveries aren't what they seem. They will set off a race to unravel the deepest secrets of human existence—the true history of human origins. And an event that could change humanity forever.

Many view "hitting rock bottom" as a foundation on which to rebuild one's life, a place from which one can only ascend. Gamers know to search for a secret door leading down to the sewer.

This irreverent guide to chaos magic emphasizes experimentation and finding out what works best for you. Andrieh Vitimus presents a revolutionary hands-on course of study for the average Jane or Joe. Vitimus banishes the severe tone of other esoteric orders, offering an accessible and practical approach that makes it easier to perform successful chaos magic that is uniquely your own.