Host Tressa Bell introduces The Fan in the Window: Interrupting What We Inherit and explores what happens when someone tries to step out of inherited family or workplace roles and the surrounding system pushes back through silence, anger, manipulation, or guilt-inducing questions.

Referencing Murray Bowen’s Differentiation of Self and Family Projection Process, she explains how systems seek equilibrium by pressuring members back into familiar functions, illustrated by her experiences setting boundaries in a relationship, at work, and with her family of origin.

Drawing on Lindsey Gibson, she emphasizes that lasting change must be rooted internally rather than aimed at eliciting others’ approval.

Using Steven Porges’ concept of neuroception, she frames both others’ reactions and one’s own guilt as nervoussystem responses to unfamiliarity, not moral wrongdoing, and offers reflection prompts and a brief grounding exercise before previewing a next episode on grieving lost roles.

00:00 When I Finally Spoke Up

00:51 Podcast Intro and Episode Theme

01:44 Safety Disclaimer and Support

02:40 Family Roles and The Pushback

03:38 Family Systems and Differentiation

04:53 Work Boundaries Saying No

06:01 Change Must Start Within

07:05 Silence From Family

08:26 Nervous System Safety Neuroception

09:32 Guilt as a Signal

11:46 Attachment and Fear of Abandonment

12:55 What to Remember When You Change

14:07 Weekly Reflection Practice

15:05 Grounding Exercise

16:37 Closing Next Episode and Resources

If you need support:
In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach theSuicide and Crisis Lifeline—available 24/7, free, and confidential. Outside the U.S., visit findahelpline.com for international mental‑health hotlines and crisis services in your region.

Learn more at thefaninthewindow.com Subscribe tothe newsletter for early access and updates. Follow Tressa on Instagram and Facebook.

This didn’t start with you…but you can interrupt it!