🎧 Three reasons to listen

• Make feedback less scary and more useful – learn why most feedback triggers defensiveness and how to avoid it
• Get a practical framework you can use immediately – mindset, relationship, and delivery
• Handle difficult conversations with confidence – be honest and direct without damaging trust

Episode overview

In this episode, Dan and Pia are joined by Katie O’Brien Ceccarini, leadership coach and author of Fearless Feedback, to tackle one of the most challenging aspects of leadership: feedback.

They explore why feedback often creates fear and resistance—and how to reframe it as a constructive, human conversation.

Katie shares her Fearless Feedback framework, focusing on mindset, trust, and practical delivery, helping leaders move from awkward, avoided conversations to clear, confident, and growth-oriented dialogue.

Memorable moments

• “No, I’m not.” – Katie’s honest story of being labelled defensive (while feeling embarrassed internally)
• The finding that 90% of people don’t want to hear “Can I give you feedback?”
• The “food in your teeth” analogy for why feedback should be timely
• A powerful reframe: “Feedback without action is criticism.”
• The shift from analysing the past to co-creating what happens next

Practical takeaways

• Start with mindset:
  Go in believing you are helping the person succeed
• Ditch the word “feedback” in the opener:
  Lead with what’s in it for them
• Use the three-part framework:
  • Mindset → why you’re saying it
  • Relationship → trust and safety
  • Delivery → clarity and structure
• Make it a conversation, not a monologue:
  Ask questions and co-create next steps
• Focus forward:
  Spend less time analysing what went wrong, more time on what to do next
• Create accountability:
  Agree follow-ups and shared responsibility
• Act quickly:
  Don’t wait—feedback loses value when delayed

Katie's’s media recommendation

• 📖 Still Human: How to Build Organizations Where Leaders and Teams Thrive with AI
  A timely exploration of how to maintain humanity, connection, and leadership impact in an AI-driven world

Bio
Katie O'Brien Ceccarini is the Founder of Endurance Management Coaching, a Certified Executive Coach, and author of Fearless Feedback: Everything Managers Have Never Been Taught About Feedback.

At 22, she began managing her first team with no handbook, no roadmap — just botched conversations and stretched-thin moments every leader knows too well. That experience is exactly why she wrote this book: not to give theory, but to give managers what actually works.

Over 20 years, she's managed, trained, and developed thousands of people — from scaling Customer Success at Yelp to leading Learning & Development at Opendoor. She's taught her Fearless Feedback Mastery course on Maven since 2022, earning a 4.8 out of 5 rating.

Today she works with organizations like eBay, LinkedIn, and AllState to build high-performing teams with the power of feedback.

Links

• Fearless Feedback
• Still human

🎧 Three reasons to listen

1. Rethink performance problems – Learn why most performance issues aren’t people problems at all, but symptoms of unclear systems, roles, and ways of working.
2. Lead for impact, not burnout – Discover how leaders unintentionally drive burnout by asking individuals to compensate for broken systems—and what to do instead.
3. Practical ways to create momentum – Take away simple, team‑level actions that improve clarity, decision‑making, and execution without needing enterprise‑wide change.

Episode overview

In this episode, Pia and Dan are joined in person by Squad coach Brooke Lewis to challenge one of the most common assumptions in organisations: that underperformance means someone needs fixing.

Drawing on Brooke’s experience in organisational development, the conversation explores how organisations often default to coaching individuals, running workshops, or “upskilling” leaders—while overlooking the system those people are working within. From unclear decision rights and complex matrices to ineffective meetings and post‑Covid ways of working, the episode reframes leadership as creating the conditions for performance, not simply demanding more effort.

This is a practical, grounded discussion for leaders who want to improve performance without pushing their people towards burnout.

Key themes & insights

• Why organisations instinctively blame individuals instead of examining systems
• The three layers of performance: system, team, individual
• How invisible architecture (strategy clarity, roles, decision rights, rhythms) shapes behaviour
• Why leaders end up compensating for broken systems—and the cost of that
• The limits of individual development in poorly designed environments
• How teams can regain agency by improving their own ways of working
• Meetings as a powerful (and often overlooked) leverage point

Memorable moments

• “When the system lacks clarity, people compensate with effort—and effort without clarity leads to burnout.”
• “Great performance should be easier, not harder.”
• “Leadership is creating the conditions for other people’s success.”

Practical takeaways

• Before investing in coaching or training, ask: What in our system is making performance harder than it needs to be?
• Zoom out one level when diagnosing issues—look first at clarity, structure, and ways of working.
• Start at team level: improve meeting purpose, decision flow, and operating rhythms to build momentum.
• Assume positive intent and competence; if people are struggling, the environment is usually the issue.

Brooke’s media recommendation

Shrinking (Apple TV+) - a smart, witty series starring Harrison Ford that explores ageing, relationships, therapy, and humour—with surprising depth.

About the guest

Brooke Lewis is a qualified coach and experienced executive with more than 20 years in organizational development and leadership across industries including technology, financial services, manufacturing, and non-profit. Throughout her career, she has been most energized by helping people grow — coaching, mentoring, and creating the conditions for others to thrive.

An in-demand certified SquadifyPro team coach, Brooke works with leaders and teams to unlock their potential, elevate performance, and lead with authenticity and impact. She believes true leadership isn’t about titles or hierarchy — it’s about creating the conditions for others to thrive and building environments where people and business succeed together.

In an increasingly complex, polarised, and fast‑moving world, the ability to have high‑quality conversations may be one of the most important leadership skills we have.

In this episode of We Not Me, Dan Hammond and Pia Lee are joined by Dianna Anderson, founding member of the International Coaching Federation and a pioneer of coaching-based leadership. Together, they explore why conversations are the hidden engine of change — and how curiosity, presence, and shared language can help teams and societies move forward together.

Dianna introduces her framework “Untying the Knot”, offering a practical way to understand what really blocks progress in conversations — and how to shift from argument and polarity to connection, trust, and hope.

🎯 Three Reasons to Listen

1. Learn a simple framework for navigating difficult conversations
   Diana’s Untying the Knot model helps you quickly identify what’s really getting in the way — whether it’s awareness, fear, or skills.
2. Build confidence to engage across difference
   Discover how to stay grounded, curious, and connected — even when values, worldviews, or emotions run high.
3. Reconnect with hope in a complex world
   This episode reframes today’s uncertainty not as collapse, but as fertile ground for meaningful change — starting with how we talk to one another.

✨ Episode Highlights

• Why change today is fundamentally different — and why linear conversations no longer work
• How our worldviews shape every interaction (often without us realising)
• The three types of “knots” that block progress in teams and relationships
• Why curiosity is more powerful than persuasion
• How to regulate yourself before entering high‑stakes conversations
• The link between psychological safety, leadership, and behavioural change
• Why hope is not naïve — but a leadership choice
• How better questions can completely transform everyday conversations

🔓 The Three Knots That Block Change

Diana explains that when conversations stall, there’s always a knot — and it’s usually one of these:

• Do‑Not‑See Knots
  Someone isn’t aware of a possibility, assumption, or perspective.
• Do‑Not‑Want Knots
  Fear, risk, or emotional resistance is holding someone back.
• Do‑Not‑Know Knots
  A genuine skills or capability gap is creating friction.

Identifying the right knot helps focus the conversation where change can actually happen.

💡 Practical Takeaways

• Enter conversations with curiosity, not certainty
• Ask open questions like “How does this make sense to you?”
• Don’t aim to win — aim to understand
• Regulate yourself before engaging others
• Start small: connection is success

📚 Recommended by Dianna

📖 Maybe You Should Talk to Someone — Lori Gottlieb
A warm, thoughtful exploration of different human worldviews through the lens of therapy — and a powerful way to build empathy and curiosity.

🔗 Links Mentioned

• We Not Me podcast:
  👉 https://www.squadify.net
• Squadify (podcast supporter):
  👉 https://www.squadify.net
• Book recommendation:
  Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottlieb
  (Available via major book retailers and libraries)
• International Coaching Federation (ICF):
  👉 https://coachingfederation.org

🎙 About the Guest

Dianna Anderson is a founding member of the International Coaching Federation and a global thought leader in coaching-based leadership and change. With over 30 years of experience, she helps leaders and organisations build shared language for navigating the human side of complexity, transformation, and collaboration.