• Leave the Tortoise Alone
    Apr 16 2026

    Mr Donaldson's about to turn 45 and frankly Luke is shocked he made it this far. Before the big day, though, he’s off to WrestleMania in Vegas. Fingers crossed he runs into Kash Patel.


    Today’s show is an animal-heavy one, as Luke and Pete exchange stories about well-endowed donkeys and investigate recent happenings surrounding the world’s oldest land animal, Jonathan the Tortoise. The late, great Harambe gets a mention, too.


    Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    29 mins
  • Schrödinger’s Poo
    Apr 13 2026

    Pete’s been using an angle grinder and it’s made his cabin smell awful. Luke’s son is reassuring him that he hasn’t done a poo. All is right in the world.


    Today’s topics include the natural beauty of Norfolk, the deaths of Margaret Thatcher and Osama Bin Laden and the wonders of what3words. Don’t die in an embarrassing quadrant, whatever you do.


    Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    31 mins
  • A Balustrade Tragedy
    Apr 9 2026

    Pete’s got a new project and it’s nearly claimed his life already. It involves walls, glass, vans and a great deal of calamity. Before any of that, though, there’s a more serious matter to attend to: what defines “European-strength” pornography?


    Also on today’s episode, we've got exploding appendixes and plenty of listener correspondence, including a new potential segment titled “Earnest or Irritating?” Mr Donaldson will decide whether an influencer’s output is essentially likable and sincere or jarring and cynical. Get your suggested subjects in.


    Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    26 mins
  • Ten American Men
    Apr 6 2026

    Under the microscope this fine Monday: the land of the free and the home of the brave. Luke and Pete discuss the recent passing of Robert Mueller, Kash Patel’s shoes and pink hair in the FBI.


    Staying on the subject of the US of A, Mr Moore has a challenge for Mr Donaldson. Can he name any ten American men? There’s literally only one way to find out.


    Plus, we’ve got a new mission for you, the listener. How accurately (or inaccurately) is your profession typically depicted in the media? Get in touch.


    Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    34 mins
  • AKA the Bronx
    Apr 2 2026

    On today’s show, Luke laments the inherent meekness of the British and their aversion to revolution. Thank God for a new set of golf clubs to lift his spirits a bit. Pete, meanwhile, is getting stuck in the long grass of naming conventions and the business of double-barrelling.


    We’ve also got a bizarrely-decorated hard hat to investigate and the origin of a nickname to explain.


    Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.



    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    30 mins
  • The Last Men on Earth
    Mar 30 2026

    If Luke and Pete were to leave the studio to find they’re suddenly the only people left on the planet, what would the strategy be? Minor spoiler: primates and Lime Bikes would be involved.


    Also up for discussion are parking tickets, jarring tonal shifts in hip-hop and an email about bubbly water.


    Plus, we find out what Pete was up to in the 90s.


    Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    28 mins
  • Elderly Japanese Lady Golfer
    Mar 26 2026

    Remember when you used to get fat footballers? Luke and Pete do.


    On today’s episode, the guys discuss the sartorial choices of football fans of the past and present, as well as those of golfers and middle-aged men more generally. Not only that, but there’s an offering for the Battery Robot and some big news concerning Afroman.


    Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    29 mins
  • Goodnight to the Metaverse
    Mar 23 2026

    The trailer for SNL UK is out and Luke and Pete are sticking to their original predictions vis à vis its quality. But there’s bigger fish to fry on this fine Monday because video game faces have been yassified and, $80 billion later, the Metaverse is dead.


    Elsewhere, Luke shouts out Denis Norden and David Niven’s wartime pasts and Pete gives his thoughts on contemporary British and Irish stars of the screen.


    Send us your latest stories, questions and comments here: hello@lukeandpeteshow.com.

    Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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    33 mins