Who is the one person you will always save, no matter what?

This letter is for the Filipino American woman who has spent her whole life showing up for everyone around her, and only recently started to wonder what that has cost her.

In this letter, Ren grows up as her mother’s emotional confidant, her younger brother’s stand-in parent, and the steadiest friend and partner anyone around her has ever had. She has always been the one holding everyone else together. And for a long time, she believed that was love.

But after one relationship too many ends the same way, what begins to surface in Ren is something painful and wordless that she has been carrying for a very long time.

If you have spent your whole life showing up for others and somehow (maybe shamefully) still feel unloved, this letter was written for you.

Letter 187 is part of The Filipino American Woman Project’s letters series, inspired by real conversations. This is our AAPI Heritage Month edition.

May is also Mental Health Awareness Month 💛

It’s okay to say that you’re not okay. If you think you may need help, check out the Asian Mental Health Collective:

AMHC was founded in 2020 by community members who have lived with mental illness, therapists, and advocates. It began with a viral Facebook group and in-person meetups for Asians to talk openly about their feelings. We broke barriers by creating the first and largest Asian therapist directory. We also hosted the first online Asian Mental Health Conference. Over the years, we’ve inspired tens of thousands of people to join the conversation.

While the organization has evolved, AMHC is still all about community. We build online spaces for folks looking to connect, share, and learn about the intersections of mental health and Asian identity.

We also know that, for most of us, Asian identity is complex. Though we’re all Asian in the diaspora, we have varied cultures, languages, backgrounds, and traditions. Our differences interweave to create a strong and diverse community.

We want mental health care that acknowledges and understands these identities, rather than erases them. We offer free therapy, support groups, and learning communities that do just that.

Whether you’re just beginning your mental health journey, or are well on your way, this space (and community) is for you.

— Source, About AMHC

How do you find belonging when you’ve never felt fully Filipino or American?

This letter is for the Filipino American woman who has spent years being asked that second question: “But where are you really from?” She learned to answer it smoothly and playfully, without letting anyone notice that being asked the question felt like a wound that kept reopening.

In this letter, Hana grows up caught between two worlds. Her American friends see her as foreign. Her Filipino family wishes she could speak their dialect and understand the cultural nuances. But on a college stage, performing mid-song, she discovers how the space created by the pause within a song can change everything.

If you’ve ever felt like you were too much of one thing and not enough of another — this letter was written for you.

Letter 186 is part of The Filipino American Woman Project’s letters series, inspired by real conversations. This is our AAPI Heritage Month edition.

Welcome to TFAW Letters — the Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month (AAPI) Heritage Month edition — by the Filipino American Woman Project!

I’m your host, Jen Amos, here to read aloud letters inspired by real conversations with you!

It all begins with one line:

If I could say one thing...

Because sometimes one thing is all we need to take up a little more space. 💛

First letter releases next Friday! Stay tuned! 🎧