Episodes

  • S.2 Ep.2 - 11/25/2023
    Mar 27 2024

    Dad didn't know PJ was graduating from college or where he was going to school; what is the return policy on adopting a child?

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    16 mins
  • S.2 Ep.1 - 11/04/2023
    Nov 13 2023
    The pod is so back! Pat takes us through the nauseating structure he needs in order to function. We go back through dads highlight reel; Evan shares his guilty pleasure.
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    29 mins
  • Ep. 20 - 04/29/23
    May 1 2023

    PJ makes the mistake of bringing up one of Pats "no-go" topics. We reminisce about PJ's time as a busboy and eventual artisanal pizza chef, and the circumstances surrounding his eventual firing. Pat has a major problem with drinks that don't need to be refrigerated, and Evan makes an outlandish claim about the number of chicken nuggets he can eat in one sitting. Is naming your kid DeColdest or Juice considered child abuse, or just savvy business practice?

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    40 mins
  • Ep. 19 - 04/22/23
    Apr 22 2023

    Happy Earth Day! We break down all of Pats multiple personalities and the pros/cons of each. Is it genius to gaslight your boyfriend/girlfriend into wanting to break up with you? Our resident pop culture expert discusses the latest Vanderpump Rules, and Pat boasts about his hero, Ted. The quality of content is back to Evan's standards, so give us a listen!

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    34 mins
  • Ep. 18 - 04/16/23
    Apr 16 2023
    Pat is extremely low energy this morning. The group reflects on the wild success of the podcast and the massive amount of spirit being sold to our listeners. PJ reports from the front lines of the fight against tree pollen. Is it socially acceptable to snack while actively ordering fast food? Pat breaks down the nuance of asking your boss for a raise, and Evan presses PJ to take the audience on a journey through his Tinder experience. All that and more while we battle Pat's garbage 3G connection.
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    39 mins
  • Ep. 17 - Live 04/14/23 (04/06/23 PT. 2)
    Apr 14 2023

    Where do we start with this one? Well it is the rest of our live recording session from 4/06/2023. Evan was a dirtbag and sat on it for the last 8 days. If our voices sound muffled, it is not you or your device. We decided eating pizza while recording is something our listeners would prefer.

    PJ and Pat discuss how they met and their experiences with massages. PJ shares his thoughts and more importantly the feelings/urges that coursed through his body after seeing a shirtless Tom Brady on the beach.

    Trailer park life, broken hearts, broken promises, a trip to Cedar Point, a 95' Ford Explorer with a leaky gas tank and the consequences of moping around in a Johnny Rocket's.

    All that and unfortunately (can't stress that enough), so much more on this episode of Pat's Never Here.

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    57 mins
  • Ep. 16 - 04/10/23
    Apr 10 2023
    Pat is M.I.A so we give him a little grace and definitely don't spend the episode hammering him. PJ and Evan discuss the Masters, PJ goes full corporate sellout, and we explore Evan's love language. Are CMC and Olivia Culpo's future children going to have the most defined jawline in history? PJ please work on writing better descriptions for our episodes thanks. 🙏
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    40 mins
  • Ep. 15 - Live 04/06/23
    Apr 7 2023
    We make history again. Another live episode at Evan's dining room table. PJ strongly considers a Presidential run while Pat refuses to share the details surrounding his tough day at the office. We determine the validity of "please set your electronic devices to airplane mode" and praise Chili's for being a global operation.
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    57 mins