Welcome to the series Queer Hearts Healthy Starts: Breaking Toxic Relationship Patterns!

Queer people know how to love hard. We also know how to stay too long, give too much, and call it devotion. In this intro episode of Queer Hearts Healthy Starts, OSTC therapist Terra Friedman, AMFT, opens the conversation we actually need to have — what makes a relationship toxic, where those patterns come from, and why queer folks carry more than most.

Terra breaks down the definition of toxic relationships (hint: it's about power and emotional codependence, not just bad vibes), traces the historical and systemic forces that shape how we love, and takes on the myths that paint queer relationships as inherently unstable or uniquely evolved. Spoiler: neither is true, and both do damage.

This one's the foundation. Tune in so the rest of the series lands the way it should.

Sound Bites

"Toxic relationships are based in power and emotional codependence"

"Systemic models of health are rooted in white, hetero, binary norms"

"Trauma and systemic stress influence relationship patterns"

Mentioned in this Episode: Evelyn Hooker - The Adjustment of the Male Overt Homosexual

My Therapist is Out! Can You Have Healthy Relationships If You Only Saw Toxic Ones

Queer Moment of Joy Guest 1: Fox Woods He/They @fox_kendall_woods

Queer Moment of Joy Guest 2: Bex She/Her @bexbourgeois

Host Bio : Terra Friedman AFMT (she/her) is an Associate Therapist with Open Space Therapy Collective. Terra specializes in working with high achieving womxn who experience anxiety. Terra also works with couples and partners who are currently in or exploring non-monogamous relationships.

To find more from us visit:

Website: https://www.openspacetherapycollective.com

Instagram: @openspacetherapycollective

TikTok: @openspacetherapy

Spotify: @MyTherapistisOut

Apple Podcasts: @mytherapistisout

YouTube: @openspacetherapycollective

Keywords: queer relationships, toxic relationships, mental health, community connection, systemic prejudice, healthy love, attachment, LGBTQ history

In Part One of this listener Q&A, hosts and therapists Renae Johnson (they/them) and Kristen Crowe (they/them) respond to questions from the My Therapist Is Out! community about identity-based harm and what it actually feels like to live inside it. Together, they unpack why so many queer and marginalized folks feel chronically exhausted, disconnected, or unsure whether what they’re carrying “counts” as trauma.

Renae and Kristen explore how identity-based harm shows up in the body, in relationships, and in community spaces — especially when those spaces don’t feel as safe or healing as we hoped. They talk about the tension between wanting connection and needing protection, how to support immigrant and targeted communities without centering ourselves, and what community care can look like when we’re already stretched thin. This episode offers validation, clarity, and permission to name what’s happening — without needing to have all the answers yet.

Takeaways

The conversation highlights the exhaustion felt by queer individuals in today's society.

Understanding the difference between personal trauma and collective trauma is crucial.

Community care plays a vital role in healing from identity-based harm.

Emotional responses can be complex and intertwined with societal issues.

It's important to recognize the impact of social media on our emotional well-being.

Queer Moment of Joy Guest 1: Charlie Montiel He/They @charlieboytattoo

Queer Moment of Joy Guest 2: Rae Hamilton-Vargo They/Them @rae_hv

Host Bios:

Kristen Crowe LPCC, BC-DMT (they/them) Is Licensed Therapist, Dance Therapist, and Clinical Supervisor with Open Space Therapy Collective. Kristen specializes in working somatically with adults and partners to help heal the mind-body connection so you can feel more grounded and vibrant every day.

Renae Johnson, LPCC, ATR-BC (they/them) is a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, Board-Certified Art Therapist, and the Founder of Open Space Therapy Collective, a group practice offering affirming, social justice-driven mental health care for the LGBTQ+ & QTPOC community.

In addition to their clinical work, Renae produces community wellness events like Queerly Connected and is a founding member of the LA Queer Coalition, creating spaces where queer and trans people can gather, heal, organize, and celebrate.

As a speaker, consultant, and activist, Renae is passionate about building systems of care that honor the full humanity of queer and trans individuals—and equipping healthcare and wellness providers with the tools to do the same.

To find more from us visit:

Website: https://www.openspacetherapycollective.com

Instagram: @openspacetherapycollective

TikTok: @openspacetherapy

Spotify: @MyTherapistisOut

Apple Podcasts: @mytherapistisout

YouTube: @openspacetherapycollective

Keywords: LGBTQ+ mental health podcast, identity-based harm, queer trauma and healing, community care in LGBTQ+ spaces, hate-based trauma recovery, radical healing for marginalized communities, queer therapists podcast, LGBTQ+ collective healing, trauma-informed community care, storytelling as healing in queer communities