EP 34 - To Venus and Back, Part 3 of 3 – Last Orbits Around Venus: Dakota, Christine, and Moving On

In the final part of our series with Turner Grant, we jump into his “last orbits” around Venus: the intense long-distance Paris connection with Dakota, the secretive New York encounters with Christine, and the slow realization that online dating had turned into a treadmill to nowhere.

Turner shares how fantasy and reality collided, what it felt like to be someone’s “Finch” from Out of Africa, and why a simple airport sign cut deeper than any bad date. We also dig into the mystery, status, and secrecy around Christine — black Suburbans, security, champagne in Times Square — and the dawning awareness that some stories are compelling but not sustainable.

We close with Turner’s decision to leave online dating, what he wants other Boomers and Gen Xers to know about baggage, expectations, and hope, and how his three-year experiment became To Venus and Back.

“What you’ll learn” bullets

In this episode, listeners will learn:

• How the long-distance Paris connection with Dakota unfolded — and why being cast as “Finch” from Out of Africa was a red flag, not a compliment.
• What it feels like to realize you’ve stepped into someone else’s fantasy script, and how to recognize when you’re being asked to play a role instead of being yourself.
• The story of Christine — secrecy, security details, champagne bars, hot dogs in Times Square — and the moment Turner realized he was being kept in the dark.
• How, by Year 3, online dating began to feel like being a serial dater on a treadmill, and how to recognize that same burnout in your own life.
• Why it’s unrealistic to expect anyone in their 50s or 60s to be baggage-free—and how to stop dating like a 25-year-old.
• Turner’s biggest lessons for midlife daters: pacing, boundaries, self-respect, and how to stay hopeful without being naïve.
• How his three years and 54 meetups became To Venus and Back, and how the book can give you a head start on your own journey.

About Turner Grant:

From the Book's Back Cover:

Two Years after the Unexpected death of his wife, Turner Grant was ready to consider love once more. Yet everything changed, and he soon found himself adrift in the digital-dating world.

At age fifty-one, Turner Grant became a widower and single parent to his twin boys. Deep in grief, he often found daily routines difficult and his work arduous. But after two years, Turner embarked on a journey to find his future, both in life and love.

What Turner discovered shocked him. After tentative steps into the shallow dating waters, he was quickly immersed in a deep ocean filled with unexpected riptides and crosscurrents within a digital-dating universe that didn’t exist when he last dated decades earlier.

In three years, he met fifty-four single, middle-aged women who took him to a totally different world—Venus. It was a journey—a journey that’s, well … complicated.

Website: https://tovenusandback.com/

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKS8GQHQ/

About The Midlife Dating Podcast / 50 Dates at 50

Paul Nelson is the host of the Midlife Dating Podcast and creator of the 50 Dates at 50 website. Helping Gen X and Baby Boomer singles learn to date smart, enjoy the process, and move from right swipe to real-life meetups with frameworks like the 3-1-1 Rule and Right Swipe Discipline.

• Learn more and grab resources at 50 Dates at 50 – https://50datesat50.com/

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: que

In Part 2, we leave the “organic” dates behind and dive into Turner’s first years of online dating. That means profiles, one-and-done coffee meetups, and learning about the stereotypical Three-Date Rule.

Turner and I talk through the patterns he began to see: the job-interview dates, the “Daddy interview,” the woman whose dogs were better than any man, and how all of that slowly pushed him to a clearer filter for who was really a fit.

From there, we step into his first year-long relationship in midlife — what drew him in, why it felt promising, and how he realized he didn’t want to go back to full-on parenting again. If you’re a Boomer or Gen Xer who’s newly single, this episode gives you a realistic picture of what those first years online can look like, and how to start making better choices with clearer boundaries.

In this episode, listeners will learn:

• How Turner eased into online dating (starting with eHarmony) and what he actually put in his first profiles.
• Why a simple detail like “ballroom dancing” changed the quality of matches he attracted.
• How he began to recognize patterns in a long string of one-and-done coffee dates.
• What the “Daddy interview” and the “my dogs are better than any man” doctor revealed about hidden agendas on dating apps.
• How his first serious, year-long relationship (Emily) started, what felt right, and where incompatibilities around kids and life stage started to show.
• Why midlife daters often discover they don’t want to go back to full-time parenting, even when the chemistry is good.
• Concrete examples of how to recognize when a relationship is good but not right — and how to walk away without feeling like you failed.

About Turner Grant:

From the Book's Back Cover:

Two Years after the Unexpected death of his wife, Turner Grant was ready to consider love once more. Yet everything changed, and he soon found himself adrift in the digital-dating world.

At age fifty-one, Turner Grant became a widower and single parent to his twin boys. Deep in grief, he often found daily routines difficult and his work arduous. But after two years,

Turner embarked on a journey to find his future, both in life and love.

What Turner discovered shocked him. After tentative steps into the shallow dating waters, he was quickly immersed in a deep ocean filled with unexpected riptides and crosscurrents within a digital-dating universe that didn’t exist when he last dated decades earlier.

In three years, he met fifty-four single, middle-aged women who took him to a totally different world—Venus. It was a journey—a journey that’s, well … complicated.

Website: https://tovenusandback.com/

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKS8GQHQ/

About The Midlife Dating Podcast / 50 Dates at 50

Paul Nelson is the host of the Midlife Dating Podcast and creator of the 50 Dates at 50 website. Helping Gen X and Baby Boomer singles learn to date smart, enjoy the process, and move from right swipe to real-life meetups with frameworks like the 3-1-1 Rule and Right Swipe Discipline.

• Learn more and grab resources at 50 Dates at 50 – https://50datesat50.com/

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: questions@50datesat50.com

In the first of three conversations with Turner Grant, author of To Venus and Back: One Man’s Quest to Rediscover Love, we start where midlife dating really begins for so many people: after loss, reflection, healing, and a new start in the search for love.

Turner shares the story of losing his wife suddenly at 53, raising twin sons (including one with disabilities), and being pushed back into life by a blunt but loving comment from his mother-in-law. From there, we walk into his “Rookie Year” of dating — starting organically the old-fashioned way at a gala invite, awkward first kisses, and the surreal experience of being featured in the Washington Post Date Lab.

This episode gives Boomers and Gen Xers a front-row seat to what it feels like to re-enter the dating world with a full life behind you, grief still in the room, and no idea what comes next. If you’re wondering whether you’re “doing it wrong” or if it’s supposed to feel this weird… this conversation says: you’re not alone.

In this episode, Baby Boomers and Gen Xers will learn:

• Why Turner decided to write a brutally honest dating memoir as a midlife widower (and why he used a pseudonym).
• How grief, parenting, and career shaped his mindset before he ever went on a date.
• What pushed him from “I’m done” to “maybe I should try dating again” — and how that actually looked in real life.
• The story of Joyce and the gala: how being “arm candy” for one night became a turning point.
• What it’s like to be set up by the Washington Post Date Lab — from red-carpet treatment to public scorecards and comment-section criticism.
• Early lessons about dating in your 50s when you realize everyone has baggage (including you), and why widowers and divorcés often get treated very differently.
• A teaser of what’s coming next as Turner moves from “organic” dating into the wild world of online dating.

About Turner Grant:

From the Book's Back Cover:

Two Years after the Unexpected death of his wife, Turner Grant was ready to consider love once more. Yet everything changed, and he soon found himself adrift in the digital-dating world.

At age fifty-one, Turner Grant became a widower and single parent to his twin boys. Deep in grief, he often found daily routines difficult and his work arduous. But after two years, Turner embarked on a journey to find his future, both in life and love.

What Turner discovered shocked him. After tentative steps into the shallow dating waters, he was quickly immersed in a deep ocean filled with unexpected riptides and crosscurrents within a digital-dating universe that didn’t exist when he last dated decades earlier.

In three years, he met fifty-four single, middle-aged women who took him to a totally different world—Venus. It was a journey—a journey that’s, well … complicated.

Website: https://tovenusandback.com/

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BKS8GQHQ/

About The Midlife Dating Podcast / 50 Dates at 50

Paul Nelson is the host of the Midlife Dating Podcast and creator of the 50 Dates at 50 website. Helping Gen X and Baby Boomer singles learn to date smart, enjoy the process, and move from right swipe to real-life meetups with frameworks like the 3-1-1 Rule and Right Swipe Discipline.

• Learn more and grab resources at 50 Dates at 50 – https://50datesat50.com/

Questions, Comments, or Podcast Topic Suggestions: questions@50datesat50.com