I looked for You in all the usual places.

In quiet rooms.

In late nights.

In that moment just before sleep

when people say You’re supposed to feel closest.

Nothing.

So I checked everywhere else.

In the glow of my phone at 3 a.m.,

scrolling past other people trying to make sense of things—

their grief, their questions, their small, bright distractions.

Still nothing.

They said You’re always there.

Closer than breath.

But some nights, even breathing feels like an effort

no one is helping you carry.

I said Your name once—out loud.

Not dramatic. Not holy.

Just… to see.

No answer.

And maybe that’s the hardest part—

not the silence itself,

but how everything keeps moving through it.

The world doesn’t pause.

People laugh.

Lights change.

Another day begins like nothing’s missing.

So here we are.

Still asking.

Still listening.

Still waiting—maybe.

Or maybe just learning how to live

in the quiet

where something used to be.

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So this is it in a nutshell. Buddhist teaching says in a synopsis that the path is through Renunciation, Compassion, an a correct view. The first two are easy to figure out and map onto Christian practise quite perfectly. In this episode I'm going to delve into Correct View and how it maps onto christian faith.

in buddhist terms, the act of faith must avoid substantialism, ( like imagining the buddha as a literal fleshy manifestation, like a ghost in the room. ) and nihilism, ( like dismissing the story of the buddha as merely a story.)

And this too maps very well onto Christian experience. So for today, Good Friday and Easter Sunday it might be fun to reflect a bit on this mysterious balance.

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Karma is a notion we associate with the east. Art is something that in modernity has liberated itself from religious devotionalism. But here I want to meditate on how all these things are unified. Liberation from Karma, attention devoutly to the great work of art, are unified in that God is a word for that which runs through all things, and all times, and all beings. God is a word we use as a cradle to hold the unnamable mystery of being. And there is no limit to this abundance even when we are exhausted by our own negative energies.

It is now the moment of the Equinox. I'm doing last night's podcast, and this today, and perhaps another one or two in the coming days to celebrate this fact. Because I've always been excited by the Equinox, the dramatic transition that we in Ireland experience from the dark brooding world of winter, to the dizzy light of Summer. And here we are, on the edge of lengthening days, long days, and summer days not far away not. Talk to you son.

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You're trying to be authentic. But knowing you never will be is not failure. it's ok that you're not authentic. And where will that lead us. Well I begin the podcast today by reading a text, a memory from 18 years go. So let's begin there.

Now go listen to that podcast! And thank you for your support. And if you are one of the many folk who are enjoying the podcasts but don't subscribe, I'm really pleading with you, please, go to Patreon.com/hardingmichael and subscribe for about €7 a month. about 70% of followers don't actually subscribe, so if you can manage the monthly subscription you'll be helping me greatly to continue sharing these podcasts with the world.

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