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Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

Luke and Pete Talking Sheet

By: Luke and Pete
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About this listen

 Honest, outrageous, distasteful, obscene, coarse and vulgar and that’s just what their friends say... Luke Craig and Peter Rethinasamy are two Stand-up comedians and best friends who are sick and tired of the polished conversations they hear spewing out of the main stream media. The constant tip toeing around what these people think is driving them insane. Tune in for an honest chat on a range of subjects and Dilemmas sent in from their listeners. Beware they don’t hold back. With over 500,000 social media and Youtube subscribers in under 9 months be a part of something that may just turn out to be a game changer!Luke and Pete
Episodes
  • Amputee Accused of Murder… How? | EP188 Luke & Pete

    Amputee Accused of Murder… How? | EP188 Luke & Pete
    Apr 14 2026

    On this weeks episode the boys try to workout how a quadruple amputee has managed to shoot a passenger in his car then go on the run. They tell some inappropriate tour stories. And they have a dilemma from a woman who says” I intimidate men”.

    The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone!

    👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind).

    Don’t miss it!


    To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list.


    If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜


    Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete

    Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify


    0:00 intro

    1:47 Inappropriate Tour stories

    6:11 being able to fart in front of people shows power

    18:02 quadruple amputee accused of murder

    22:43 Luke and Pete come form very different backgrounds

    26:17 “I’m scared cowardice will rub off on me”

    29:40 Tour driving

    31:41 going to jail as an amputee

    34:14 being angry and having access to a gun

    39:15 tracking a lost phone using iPhone

    44:10 getting trampled at a concert

    47:12 no prison under a year

    47:38 guess who’s back?

    48:18 have we tracked the thief of the phone?

    50:56 black sex worker in Japan

    58:21 does attention become meaningless?

    1:06:39 damaged women need validation and Pete

    1:11:40 dilemma: men find me intimating


    🎧 Podcast

    ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6

    ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683

    Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app.


    Find Peter Rethinasamy @:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902




    Find Luke Craig @:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 35 mins
  • My Debts are ruining my new relationship | EP187 Luke & Pete

    My Debts are ruining my new relationship | EP187 Luke & Pete
    Apr 7 2026

    On this weeks episode they boys have a surprise guest who just shows up half way though filming. Petes new son has arrived. Why Luke has never used dating apps and a dilemma where a woman has so much debt its ruing a new relationship she just started.

    The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone!

    👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind).

    Don’t miss it!


    To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list.


    If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜


    Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete


    0:00 charlotte has given birth

    10:04 I don’t like the word daddy

    14:50 Tour stories: Pete offended a woman at our live show

    22:04 “Dealing with sibling rivalry now you have two”

    27:50 Do doctors have a conflict of interest?

    39:59 funny story about Face ID to unlock phone

    45:16 “why I won’t use dating apps”

    47:52 “I don’t like the word evil”

    Dilemma: My Debts are ruining my new relationship


    Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify


    🎧 Podcast

    ► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6

    ► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683

    Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app.


    Find Peter Rethinasamy @:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=en

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902




    Find Luke Craig @:

    Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=en

    TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=en

    Twitter: https://twitter.com/Lukekingcraig

    Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 12 mins
  • Sex Before a Fight? Derek Chisora Tells the Truth | EP186 Luke & Pete

    Sex Before a Fight? Derek Chisora Tells the Truth | EP186 Luke & Pete
    Mar 31 2026
    On this weeks episode the boys sit down with the heavy weight boxing legend Derek Chisora and have a chat about violence, ego and the things men don’t say out loud. Would you fight your friend for money? Does sex affect performance? And what do you regret not doing because of fear? A brutally honest look at the mindset behind stepping into a ring to fight another man. The tour is ON SALE NOW! 🎟️ Tickets are flying, so grab yours before they’re gone!👉 Head to www.lukeandpete.com/liveshows to come hang out with us in person — it’s going to be a night full of laughs, stories, and total chaos (the good kind).Don’t miss it!To be the first to know about Live Shows, Merch Drops and other cool Sheet go to our website www.Lukeandpete.com and signup to our mailing list.If you have any questions or dilemmas please send them to the Luke and Pete Hotline (+44)07932 633 553 or E-mail Help@lukeandPete.com or message us on any of the socials and we will help you out Luke and Pete style😜Joins us on Patreon for an Exclusive Patreon episode every week, early access to the public episodes and behind the scenes content you don’t want to miss https://www.patreon.com/LukeandPete0:00 boxing chat: how much do you pay sparing partners? Pete is considering it5:33 Could you fight a friend in the ring and hurt them for money?6:11 has your expenses gone up the more successful you’ve become? + black people focus on style to much 9:15 **sound quality improves**10:13 “black people haven’t done anything for our people in the last 50 years”£200 million in the bank what’s the first thing you’d do?15:51 having guidance is very important for success 17:11 “I don’t eat pum pum”21:12 do you abstain from sex during for a fight? + Pete’s missing ejaculation 24:21 difference between ladies and women 26:14 “I drive a smart car” 28:08 what do you do for fun?30:02 how does a man eat ass?33:50 how long have you been married?35:39 real men don’t exist anymore + Cheating38:38 Being around Anthony Joshua 42:00 fighting friends 42:41 who wins Joshua vs Fury?43:25 boxing is just business like tennis 44:40 is boxing a corrupt sport?46:27 what’s up with turki al sheikh holding boxers hands?50:26 can you be friendly with an opponent before you fight?53:37 “if it kicked off with me and you I would try and shoot you” 56:24 most important rule in boxing if you want to survive 55:54 “I’m loved by everybody” + what makes people hated 57:46 what ways are you peculiar around money?59:02 what job would you do if you weren’t boxing?1:00:45 most useful career advice?1:02:34 how do you sabotage your own possibilities of success? 1:04:02 you can never leave boxing1:05:19 would you fight Jake Paul?1:06:24 is there anything you regret not doing due to fear?1:10:14 what would your ideal p*rn be like?1:14:49 society is getting ruined by clickbait 1:17:16 Would you go to an ex’s funeral? Full video episode: On Youtube & Spotify 🎧 Podcast► Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3kqRghi4CWuuXixsPymSt6► Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luke-and-pete-talking-sheet/id1643482683Use the Hashtag #LukeandPete to connect with Luke and Pete and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, or your favourite podcast app.Find Peter Rethinasamy @:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B_DAktznmaO/?hl=enTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@standuppete/video/6923163838665788677Twitter: https://twitter.com/standuppete/status/1493299084719013902Find Luke Craig @:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lukekingcraig/?hl=enTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lukekingcraig?lang=enTwitter: https://twitter.com/LukekingcraigFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/lukekingcraig
    Show More Show Less
    1 hr and 22 mins
All stars
Most relevant
Luke and Pete, the two of you get me through boring work days, mucking out the horses in the wind and rain and even join me in the bath on an evening! keep it up lads, you're hilarious x

laughs laughs laughs

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Outrageously funny, down to earth, real. It’s so wrong at times it’s just right. It is really refreshing to have 2 very funny men talking about the everyday toil and giving opinions that can be so left field it literally has you laughing out loud. I would recommend to anyone, it’s fantastic

Belly laughs

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Hilariously funny unapologetically to the point exactly how it should be these touring infectious and anybody who doesn’t agree needs to have a long hard look at their boring self
Honestly wish nothing but the best for these two

Sheet-Etiquette

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absolutely love these guys! you are guaranteed to belly laugh! the only thing that brings me joy 🤣 love love love..

laugh my head off!

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I love the friendship between Luke and Pete. So many episodes to catch up on, not enough time (I dont want to stop listening once I start.

always has me chuckling

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