This week on the KOKO Show your prayers have been answered! You have begged and pleaded for this man to return and KOKO has delivered. Coming in and running a juicy unders line from the outside channel is a man that goes by many names and has just as many different personalities. He has been called Snorkatron, Snorklebeanie, Captain Insano and of course the Porn Master. This Linfield legend lives off a steady diet of reminiscing about his 2003 SF intercept, making the tech world his bitch and forcing people to tell him that his lisp even as an adult is still really cute. So please put your hands together for Stirling Austin Mortlock! With Stirlo in tow the lads get down to business throwing questions at the Oracle in a segment we call ‘Snork Talk’, they chat about the current Wallabies set up and they shine a light on what actually happened when Morty called a Code Red on Swoop. Plus, we chat about round 9 of the Superb Rugby and we play a new little game called ‘Green and Goldylocks’.

Finally, we reintroduce old friend NordVPN back on the show as a sponsor, as well as the lads get giddy about the news that they are heading to Super Round in Christchurch in only a couple of weeks. Plus, we let Swoop run a muck inside his Temu cupboard and boy, let's just say he is giving main character vibes. So sit back, relax and let the innate beauty of Snorkatron fill your every orifice, it has been worth the wait. It is time for an all new episode of Kick Offs and Kick Ons.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Start of the show

02:34 - Stirling Mortlock surprise

03:41 - Nord VPN Sponsor read

05:55 - Stirling as a dad

08:18 - The famous code red on Swoop at the Brumbies

16:35 - Snork Talk Segment Begins

18:40 - Stirling as a captain

23:27 - The Wallabies’ outlook in 2027 and 2027

28:28 - The best players have another gear

34:57 - The current Wallabies’ coaching set up

35:51 - Stirling’s work in sports tech

39:44 - Snork Talk Rapid Questions

46:44 - Stirling’s Wallabies back-line

49:58 - The Giteau Law is back

53:00 - ‘Green and Goldilocks' Game

01:02:48 - Super Round Christchurch Plug

01:06:35 - RUGBY ROUND UP SEGMENT

01:10:42 - Swoop’s Temu Cupboard

01:19:25 - Close of the Show

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This week on the KOKO Show we take a philanthropic approach to talking absolute garbage and sprinkling our chaos with just the right amount of rugby. Although we didn't give you a guest this week, we make up for it ten fold with a sublime wrap up of all the rugby that took place in the Pacific, including the Tahs big upset of the in form ACT Shetland Ponies and how the Canes just keep rolling. Plus, we have a little mental health check-in on all the lads, we belatedly celebrate the births of Drew and Swoop and we play a cheeky little game of Never have I ever.

We are well aware this show is simply the 50 minutes attached to the segment that is sweeping the nation, so without fail we serve up a truly centered and holistic version of ‘What’s in Swoop’s Temu Cupboard’. So sit back, relax and let the inane chatter of four has-beens fill the void in your life that has been vacant for so long. Here at KOKO we want to wish you all a happy and safe Easter and may the bunny be bad for your waistlines. It is time for an all new episode of Kick Offs and Kick Ons.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Start of the show

02:18 - KOKO Health Check and Weekend wrap up

09:24 - The modern day sporting parent

13:07 - The KOKO Birthday Game

19:59 - Rugby Round Up - BRUMBIES V WARATAHS

27:28 - HURRICANES V REDS

29:57 - FORCE V CHIEFS

34:03 - OTHER SUPER RUGBY SCORES

37:01 - Other Rugby News

41:33 - Never Have I Ever Game

50:09 - Swoop’s Temu Cupboard

59:00 - Close of the show

BUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE AND STAY TUNED FOR EVENTS - www.kickoffsandkickons.com

Make sure you follow us on all socials:

INSTA: @kickoffskickons

TWITTER/X: @kickoffskickons

YOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickons

TIKTOK: @kickoffskickons

If you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.

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This week on the KOKO Show we are joined live in the studio by our favourite ‘KOKO Confidant’ and Ireland Rugby’s answer for the weird uncle at a family BBQ, it is the one and only Mr Mack Daddy Hansen. With Mack in the studio and wearing pants for the first time the lads get down to business talking about his current injury, the Irish Six Nations campaign, what he is doing back in Aus and his budding relationship with Andy Farrell. This episode is wall to wall laughs as Mack and the boys go for long walks down memory lane, shoot the shit about cracking career moments and then they finish with a little swiping session in a game we like to call ‘Teammate Tinder’.

Plus, we knock the froth off a couple of cold ones and give you a full wrap of the Superb Rugby, giving Slips his flowers for conquering game 203 and most importantly we go deep on all the action from across the weekend in the Pacific. Lastly but certainly not the ‘leastly’, Swoop comes in real hot from a forage around his Temu Cupboard with a few items that will leave you hairless and shocked to your core. So sit back, relax and let the majestic nature of Mack Hansen fill your every nook and cranny, this fella is one of a kind and he stars in the all new episode of Kick Offs and Kick Ons.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Start of the show

02:50 - The boys open up about what they love rugby

11:41 - Mack’s injury update

15:22 - Ireland’s Six Nations Campaign

18:47 - Mack’s bond with Andy Farrell

23:56 - Mack’s accent and leaving the Brumbies

27:31 - The first time Mack played the Wallabies and how you deal mentally

33:59 - KOKO’s Teammate Tinder

45:22 - Rugby Round Up - BRUMBIES V CHIEFS

49:22 - DRUA V REDS

51:01 - WARATAHS V BLUES

55:04 - OTHER SUPER RESULTS

55:40 - Swopp’s Temu Cupboard

01:08:05 - KOKO’s upcoming bet with Mack

01:09:13 - Close of the Show

BUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE AND STAY TUNED FOR EVENTS - www.kickoffsandkickons.com

Make sure you follow us on all socials:

INSTA: @kickoffskickons

TWITTER/X: @kickoffskickons

YOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickons

TIKTOK: @kickoffskickons

If you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.

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This week on the KOKO Show we are joined by the man that is about to sit alone atop the mountain as the most capped Super Rugby player ever. That is right this rag tag show has once again landed a white whale and the game of rugby’s ‘Mr Right Now’, James ‘Styvo’ Slipper. This coming weekend slips moves to 203 Super Rugby games and takes out the title, so on the show he humbly talks about all the records he holds, his imminent playing future and he defends some funny stories that we got from his wife Kara. This bloke has changed the game of rugby in Australia for the better and this week on KOKO we give this big backy bastard his flowers and shower him with some much deserved adoration. Plus, we tackle all the action from the Superb Rugby and we proudly crown France the Champions of the Guinness Six Nations, after an ‘all-time’ after the siren execution of those English lads.

However, this week isn't all about the RA RA - we take some time to talk about our weekend activities, we discuss the best proposal stories, we test the boys French speaking skills and of course we dumpster dive right back into Swoop’s Temu cupboard. So sit back, relax and take and intravenous dose of some fucking C’est La Vie. It is time to say “Such Is Life” with an all new episode of Kick Offs and Kick Ons.

TIMECODES

00:00 - Start of the show

01:52 - Weekend reflections

06:15 - RE-KOKO-MENDATIONS

08:30 - Patreon Plug

08:57 - Rugby Round Up Part 1 - DRUA V BRUMBIES

12:39 - REDS V WARATAHS

16:33 - HURRICANES V FORCE

18:47 - Intro James Slipper

20:09 - James Slipper on the Brumbies performance in Fiji

21:03 - Slipper shirt reveal

21:37 - James Slipper on breaking the record this coming weekend

22:20 - James Slipper’s playing future

24:00 - The 2026 Brumbies

26:02 - James on collecting so many records

28:22 - Loosehead Landmarks Game

36:40 - Proposal Stories

38:50 - Rugby Round Up Part 2 - IRELAND V SCOTLAND

40:53 - WALES V ITALY

42:04 - FRANCE V ENGLAND

45:44 - THE FRENCH SPEAKING GAME

51:12 - Swoop’s Temu Cupboard

58:16 - Close of the show

BUY YOUR KOKO MERCHANDISE AND STAY TUNED FOR EVENTS - www.kickoffsandkickons.com

Make sure you follow us on all socials:

INSTA: @kickoffskickons

TWITTER/X: @kickoffskickons

YOUTUBE: @kickoffsandkickons

TIKTOK: @kickoffskickons

If you do want to talk about sponsorship or anything business related then please do get in touch with us info@shtn.com.au.

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This week on the KOKO Show we are foraging around the world of rugby as lone rangers lost in a wilderness of psychedelic southern footy and naturally naughty northern Internationals. That is right, we are serving up an extra sloppy no guest nonsense for you, allowing our little island of misfit degenerates to spread their wings and do what they do best, talk absolute rubbish and little bit of rugby.

First up, we get stuck right into all the action of Super Rugby from the weekend that saw the Reds sneak home against the unbeaten Brumbies, the Blues castrate the Crusaders and the Canes show the Tahs who is daddy. Just to name a few, plus we get right into the nitty gritty with the Guinness Six Nations, with Ireland downing the Dragons, the English getting pantsed by the panettone producing Italians and the Scots telling the French where they can escargot! Plus, we break down all the magical machinations heading into the final week of games as the best comp in the world (so they say) goes down to the wire.

Finally, the lads have a little fun around fire as they pick out some famous rugby appendages, they hand out some ‘Re-KOKO-mendations’ for the fans and of course we finish with our very own ‘Titan of Temu’. So sit back, relax and get out your night vision goggles, KOKO is about to go full stealth. It is time for an all new Kick Offs and Kick Ons.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Start of the show

02:29 - Drew talks about a Waratah fan forum

04:25 - Initial chat about the woes of English rugby

07:19 - RE’KOKO’MENDATIONS

13:37 - Patreon plug

14:02 - RUGBY NEWS

22:08 - Rugby Round Up Part 1 - BRUMBIES V REDS

30:45 - HIGHLANDERS V FORCE

32:17 - BLUES V CRUSADERS

33:40 - CHIEFS V MOANA PASIFIKA

33:43 - WARATAHS V HURRICANES

42:41 - Prof’s Pick The Appendage

47:47 - Rugby Round Up Part 2 - ITALY V ENGLAND

50:00 - WALES V IRELAND

52:23 - SCOTLAND V FRANCE

56:01 - Six Nations is coming down to the wire

57:33 - Listener question

01:02:15 - Swoop’s Temu Cupboard

01:09:13 - Close of the show

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This week on the show we are joined by the people’s champ and undisputed fan favourite of ye KOKO faithful. He is a man with many masks and some of them wear mouth tape, he speaks his mind and we all know that can be a very interesting place to say the least, please welcome the one and only Mr Carlo Tizzano. With Carlo on the flank the lads get stuck into the Force’s start to the 2026 season, his wild journey throughout the Lions Tour and how he is currently monetizing his unborn child. Then we finish off our little catch up with our neuro know-it-all by playing a very game of True or False where we unpack the trials and tribulations faced by Carlo being the only Italian known to man that is allergic to eggplant.

Plus, we have a deep dive into the week that was in Superb Rugby as we take a look around the grounds, illuminating how the Aussies’ had a weekend to remember in Round 3. To finish our footy-fueled feast we head north to preview a mouth watering round four of the Guinness Six Nations, wetting your whistles with the likes of Ireland v Wales, Italy v England and the big one at Murrayfield Scotland v France. So sit back, relax and light up a fat fucking stogie this episode of KIck Off and Kick Ons will blow smoke rings around the rugby world.

TIMESTAMPS:

00:00 - Start of the show

01:39 - weekend recap

05:14 - Prof’s joke of the week

05:36 - Punch the Monkey Segment

08:40 - Patreon plug and ball giveaway rules

09:59 - The lads dissect the fails in the Olivia Dean social

17:32 - Rugby Round Up Part 1 - MOANA PASIFIKA V FORCE

20:03 - REDS V HIGHLANDERS

23:02 - DRUA V HURRICANES

24:23 - Introduce Carlo Tizzano

25:23 - Carlo and Emma are expecting a baby

28:35 - Carlo’s roommate situation on tour

31:03 - Carlo talks about the Lions Tour

33:59 - Carlo talks about the Force in 2026

37:07 - The Neuro Divergent Brotherhood

39:59 - Missing out on the 30 year Force team

41:32 - Carlo’s dad is his biggest fan

43:31 - True or False Game

53:11 - Rugby Round Up Part 2 - CHIEFS V CRUSADERS

54:06 - BRUMBIES V BLUES

57:47 - ROUND 4 SIX NATIONS PREVIEW/PREDICTIONS

01:01:19 - Swoop’s Temu Cupboard

01:08:46 - Close of the show

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This week on the KOKO Show we got down and dirty with the buff, broad and beautiful captain of the NSW Waratahs Mr Matt Philip. With Matt riding comfortably in our side-car of craziness, the lads chat about the Tahs hot start to 2026, his return home to skipper his childhood team and lastly we play a little game of TRUE of FALSE the Matt Philip edition. Plus, the boys get hot and bothered about round two of the Superb Rugby, talking all things oval ball in the Pacific, as well as, a little trip up North to chat Six Nations footy, focussing heavily on French flare and English despair.

Furthermore, Drew this week has been enamoured about the plight of the Japanese monkey Punch and his hardships he has faced after being disowned and bullied in captivity. Thus, we have launched a new segment where the boys illuminate something in their lives that they just can’t let go of, all whilst holding ‘Hope’ the orangutan of comfort. Lastly but certainly not the least, we are back with a couple of juicy segments to round out the ep, Swoop adds a few more items to his Temu cupboard and the lads play a little game called ‘Guess that Salad’. So sit back, relax and think about how shit England is at rugby. If that can’t make you smile then you must be dead inside, but for now it is time for an all new episode of Kick Offs and Kick Ons.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Start of the show

01:30 - The boys recap their weekends

03:46 - Punch the Monkey Segment

08:07 - Intro Matt Philip

10:01 - Matt on the Waratahs’ start to the season

11:18 - Matt on what it is like playing the Drua

12:12 - Matt on his property portfolio of lego houses

14:01 - Matt on being named captain of the Waratahs

15:13 - Matt Philip TRUE or FALSE

22:25 - Rugby Round Up Part 1 - WARATAHS V DRUA

24:42 - CRUSADERS V BRUMBIES

30:19 - Rumours that Stephen Larkham might be heading to the All Blacks

32:01 - FORCE V BLUES

34:24 - OTHER SUPER RUGBY RESULTS

37:01 - What’s in Swoop’s Temu Cupboard?

43:03 - Rugby Round Up Part 2 - IRELAND V ENGLAND

45:54 - WALES V SCOTLAND

48:59 - FRANCE V ITALY

51:20 - Swoop’s five day fast

53:15 - Guess the Salad game

55:33 - Close of Show

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This week on the KOKO Show we are joined by a young gun of Australian Rugby, he is a Sydney 6, Perth 10 and Canberra 11, so please put your mitts together for Mr Charlie Cale. With big Chedsy in tow the lads grill him on the inner workings of the Brumbies’ shower schedule, his nickname and the powerful start in round one of the season. We tackle the light and shade of what it is like being so handsome in Super Rugby and what it is like to forcibly consume lots of Greek salad.

Plus, we have an in depth look at the results from the first week of the Superb Rugby season, breaking down the two big Aussie derbies, as well as the other games from across a wonderful weekend in the Pacific. Moreover, the feast of footy did not stop here as we headed up to our NHLs to break down Scotland’s big win over England, Ireland holding on against the Italian and the French putting the Welsh on toast. Plus, the lads try a few delicacies from our Northern neighbours and Swoop gives the guys some tangy TEMU treats. So sit back, relax and bathe in the beauty that is rugby from all four corners of the globe. Let us the KOKO Show glaze you with all our rugby goodness in an all new episode of Kick Offs and Kick Ons.

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 - Start of the show

00.32 - The new studio

02:20 - Mad Dog Manifestations

09:20 - RUGBY ROUND UP SEGMENT

09:42 - The retro Super Rugby jerseys were a hit

10:12 - SUPER RUGBY - WARATAHS V REDS

16:24 - FORCE V BRUMBIES

20:17 - Other Results

23:07 - SIX NATIONS PART 1 - IRELAND V ITALY

25:55 - Introduce Charlie Cale

26:57 - Charlie’s relationship with Valentines Day

28:35 - Charlie talks about the Brumbies round 1 match

31:32 - How Charlie started in rugby

32:54 - What are Soapy Showers?

34:15 - Goit at Brumbies training

35:08 - Charlie’s tough 2025

38:25 - True or false with Charlie Cale

42:44 - Charlie on playing the Crusaders in round 2

43:22 - Charlie on first Wallabies camp and being knocked out in club footy

49:19 - Swoop’s airplane question

52:23 - SIX NATIONS PART 2 - SCOTLAND V ENGLAND

55:00 - WALES V FRANCE

57:17 - Six Nations Delicacy Duel

01:01:40 - ‘What’s in Swoop’s Temu Cupboard’

01:07:14 - Close of the show

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