Episodes

  • 137: Jamie Winship — How Great Leaders Handle Fear, Conflict, and Difficult Conversations

    137: Jamie Winship — How Great Leaders Handle Fear, Conflict, and Difficult Conversations
    May 8 2026
    ➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup Email cal@calwalters.me if you're interested in learning more about the Intentional Leader Lab. Learn more about Jamie Winship and his work: https://www.identityexchange.com/ Get Jamie's new book, The War of Worldviews: https://www.identityexchange.com/books Jamie Winship returns to the Intentional Leader Podcast for a deep and honest conversation about fear, identity, conflict, truth-telling, and what it means to lead from love instead of self-protection. Jamie is a former CIA officer, conflict mediator, speaker, and author of Living Fearless and The War of Worldviews. In this conversation, Jamie shares vulnerably about his own fear of being a disappointment, how leaders often use self-protection and self-promotion to cover insecurity, and why truth-telling is one of the most powerful tools for resolving conflict. We also explore how leaders can help people in conflict, why anger is often connected to fear, and why leaders must model the freedom they want to create in others. Jamie is a Christian, and this conversation includes discussion of faith, prayer, Jesus, and Scripture. Whether or not you come from that faith background, this episode offers powerful insight into what it means to be human, to face fear honestly, and to lead with courage, love, and truth. In this episode, we discuss: Why fear is valuable but should not make decisions for usHow leaders self-protect and self-promote when they feel afraidWhy conflict is usually rooted in fearHow to tell the truth without weaponizing vulnerabilityWhy leaders must do their own inner work firstHow to help people in conflict reconnect as human beingsWhy love, not fear, is the better leadership motiveHow to stay grounded in high-stress situations 00:00 Introduction 01:37 Jamie's core fear: being a disappointment 04:47 How fear shows up in leadership 05:13 The decision to take his family to Iraq 07:33 When leadership decisions go wrong 08:29 Why truth-telling is the path through fear 10:16 Only truth can remove a lie 12:28 What Jamie says to himself when fear rises 12:50 Fear makes simple things complicated 15:13 Tracing fear back to an old wound 17:31 Asking God where He was in the painful moment 19:42 What happens when leaders don't process fear 20:17 Self-protection and self-promotion 21:31 Don't get your identity from the room 22:14 Can leaders be motivated by love instead of fear? 22:38 Every decision comes from fear or love 25:59 Jamie's definition of love 26:05 Serve and protect vs. enforce and control 30:32 How leaders should handle conflict on their team 32:16 Fear is what produces conflict 34:36 Underneath anger is usually fear 36:53 How identity changes conflict resolution 39:23 "I'm not qualified to do that" 40:12 Leaders must model the freedom they want to create 42:36 How two people in conflict can tell the truth 45:02 A CEO chooses humanity over HR process 47:13 Is truth-telling too vulnerable in conflict? 47:46 Truth-telling vs. vulnerability 49:03 A real-world conflict resolution example 53:25 Why present pain usually has a past root 56:25 What to do if you can't remember where the fear started 57:21 Habits for staying calm under pressure 57:49 Keep your brain in your own car 01:00:41 How the future helps us deal with fear 01:01:07 Getting the enemy out from behind you 01:03:34 Cal's biggest takeaways
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    1 hr and 5 mins
  • 136: Jordan Montgomery — Why Even High Performers Need Encouragement (and How to Lead with It)

    136: Jordan Montgomery — Why Even High Performers Need Encouragement (and How to Lead with It)
    Apr 24 2026

    ➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup

    Check out Jordan's work: https://www.montgomerycompanies.com/

    00:00 Intro + Why Encouragement Matters (Even for High Performers)

    01:09 Why Everyone Needs Encouragement (No Matter Their Success)

    02:35 What Elite Performers Have in Common (They All Have Coaches)

    04:16 The Paradox of Growth: The More You Learn, The More You Need Help

    06:25 How Jordan Coaches Leaders (2 Powerful Questions)

    07:44 "What Do You Want?" + "Who Are You Really?"

    10:01 Why Most Leaders Struggle with Self-Awareness

    11:47 Identity, Calling, and Becoming an Encourager

    13:27 Jordan's Failure Story (Losing His Career at 27)

    15:53 "You're Not Buried, You're Planted" (Valley Season Lessons)

    17:01 The Power of Self-Encouragement

    19:32 How to Rewire Your Thinking (Speak vs. Listen to Yourself)

    21:32 Practical Self-Talk (What It Actually Looks Like Daily)

    23:27 The Art of Authentic Encouragement

    23:56 Why Specific Encouragement Is More Powerful

    26:59 Final Takeaways + How to Encourage Others Better

    27:42 Practical Leadership Application (Cal's Closing Thoughts)

    What if encouragement isn't just "nice"… but essential for leadership?

    In this episode of the Intentional Leader Podcast, I sit down with Jordan Montgomery, bestselling author of The Art of Encouragement, to unpack:

    • Why even elite performers need encouragement
    • The surprising link between success and coaching
    • How to lead yourself when your mindset is off
    • Why most encouragement feels fake—and how to fix it
    • A simple framework to become a better encourager today

    This conversation is short—but packed with practical wisdom you can apply immediately in your leadership, your family, and your team.
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    29 mins
  • 135: Dr. Jeff Wetzler — Why People Don't Tell You the Truth (and the Questions That Change Everything)

    135: Dr. Jeff Wetzler — Why People Don't Tell You the Truth (and the Questions That Change Everything)
    Mar 5 2026

    ➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup

    Follow Jeff's work: https://www.jeffwetzler.com/

    Dr. Jeff Wetzler, author of Ask, joins Cal Walters to unpack a leadership blind spot: the crucial information your team has… but isn't telling you. Jeff explains the "left-hand column" (what people think and feel but don't say), the four reasons honesty gets filtered, and the ASK Approach—a practical framework for choosing curiosity, building psychological safety, asking better questions, and closing the loop when feedback is hard to act on.

    If you want better decisions, healthier relationships, and fewer surprises, this conversation will give you a playbook.

    Episode Outline / Timestamps

    00:00 The hidden information problem

    00:41 Guest intro + what you'll learn

    01:37 Chris Argyris + the "left-hand column" tool

    08:07 Four reasons people don't tell you the truth

    12:06 Why smart/successful leaders struggle to learn

    13:55 Jeff's near miss: one question that revealed the truth

    15:45 Psychological safety: why curiosity alone isn't enough

    21:35 Reactivity: the biggest predictor of future honesty

    22:18 Responding well to hard feedback

    25:00 The ASK Approach: Choose curiosity

    29:48 Curiosity killers + "When you're furious, get curious"

    32:29 Busy leaders: "Pay now or pay later"

    36:40 Quality questions vs. crummy questions

    40:04 Better questions for feedback and performance reviews

    44:07 Go-to questions for parties and relationships

    47:48 Questions as a gift: helping others gain clarity

    49:55 How to handle feedback you won't follow

    51:08 Reflect & reconnect: sift it, turn it, and close the loop

    53:13 Cal's takeaways and practical challenges

    Practical Challenges to Try This Week

    • Replace: "Do you have feedback for me?"

      With: "What's one thing I could do differently that would make your life easier?"

    • When you feel defensive, ask one question before making a statement.

    • When someone brings hard truth, try:

      "That's hard to hear—and I'm really glad you told me."
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    56 mins
  • 134: Randy Gravitt — Winning at Home Without Losing at Work, Leading With Presence, and Why Hope Is Not a Strategy

    134: Randy Gravitt — Winning at Home Without Losing at Work, Leading With Presence, and Why Hope Is Not a Strategy
    Jan 16 2026

    ➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup

    Get Randy's book: https://www.amazon.com/Winning-Begins-Home-Strategy-Leadership/dp/B0CTYGNXCG

    Learn about Lead Every Day: https://leadeveryday.com/

    In this episode, Cal Walters sits down with executive coach, speaker, and author Randy Gravitt of ⁨@Lead_Every_Day⁩ to explore one of the most important leadership questions of our time:

    How do you pursue excellence at work without sacrificing what matters most at home?

    Randy shares powerful insights from decades of coaching leaders across Fortune 100 companies, professional sports teams, and nonprofits—along with lessons from his book Winning Begins at Home.

    This conversation goes beyond clichés about work-life balance and gets practical about strategy, systems, presence, and love—and why winning at home actually makes you a better leader at work.

    Please visit my website to get more information: https://calwalters.me/

    00:00 – Welcome to 2026 & the Intentional Leader community

    02:10 – Introducing Randy Gravitt & the tension leaders feel

    03:40 – Strategic at work, sporadic at home

    06:00 – Why family has quietly been diminished

    07:45 – Being home but not really home

    08:55 – Proximity does not equal intimacy

    10:00 – The servant leadership tension

    12:20 – Living in the center of the tension

    13:45 – Begin with the end in mind

    15:10 – You will never finish all the work

    16:50 – Seasons turn into patterns

    18:30 – The NFL Super Bowl story

    21:00 – Leaving work at work

    22:15 – Training presence like a discipline

    23:30 – Rituals that help you be present

    25:30 – Phone boundaries that actually work

    27:40 – Winning the first hour of the day

    29:40 – Why home life fuels work performance

    32:10 – Choosing priorities on purpose

    34:00 – The hidden cost of neglecting home

    36:30 – "What kind of family do you want?"

    38:40 – Family by design, not by default

    41:00 – Marriage after the kids leave

    43:00 – Don't go to bed angry

    46:30 – Love first

    49:50 – See a need, meet a need

    54:00 – Final encouragement to leaders

    59:00 – Key takeaways & closing challenge
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    1 hr and 2 mins
  • 133: LTG(R) Milford Beagle "Beags" — A Three-Star General on True North, Resilience, Feedback, and How to Lead With Confidence Without Becoming Overconfident

    133: LTG(R) Milford Beagle "Beags" — A Three-Star General on True North, Resilience, Feedback, and How to Lead With Confidence Without Becoming Overconfident
    Dec 3 2025
    ➡️ Get my free weekly newsletter (The Intentional Letter): https://courses.calwalters.me/signup 📚 Get LTG (Ret.) Beagle's new book, When the Map Runs Out: https://www.amazon.com/When-Map-Runs-Out-Uncertain/dp/B0G1ZGH76J As leaders rise, they often hear less and less truth. LTG (Ret.) Milford Beagle calls this the cone of silence—and he warns that it's one of the quietest ways leaders lose their true north. In this episode, we explore how to lead when your "map" falls apart. General Beagle shares his journey from a stunned new platoon leader at Fort Polk to commanding the U.S. Army Combined Arms Center, and what he's learned about staying grounded, humble, and effective in uncertainty. We dig into his new book, When the Map Runs Out: Values, Judgment, and Clarity in Uncertain Times, and talk about practical tools: a one-page "How to Handle Me" document, a journaling habit to process negative emotions, and how to invite real feedback without shutting people down. If you're navigating change, promotion, or pressure to have all the answers, this conversation will help you lead with confidence and humility at the same time. 🔎 In This Episode, You'll Learn Why the higher you go, the more you're at risk of a cone of silence. How leaders lose true north—not from incompetence, but distortion. The difference between maps (plans, strategies, frameworks) and the compass (your values and judgment). Two key disciplines of leadership: bearing (self-awareness) and calibration (inviting others to check your bearing). How introverts, extroverts, and ambiverts can all be authentic leaders without pretending to be someone else. A practical tool: the "How to Handle Me" document that accelerates trust and clarifies expectations. How to create a culture where honest feedback is normal—especially for senior leaders. Why even three-star generals feel imposter syndrome, and how to work through it. How to provide clarity without certainty using "signposts on the road." Simple habits for resilience: journaling, reframing failure, and "always quit tomorrow." ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – The cone of silence: how leaders lose true north as they rise 01:56 – Cal's intro, the Intentional Leader Podcast, and LTG Beagle's background 03:15 – Fort Polk & the first platoon: "I felt like a leader… and not a very good one" 08:45 – From follower to leader: athletics, ROTC, and early moments when the map ran out 10:27 – Why When the Map Runs Out and the map/compass metaphor 12:36 – Frameworks, bearing, and calibration: why leaders need more than maps 16:54 – Authentic leadership for every personality type 22:57 – Designing a "How to Handle Me" one-pager for your team 26:27 – Examples: not liking details, humor, and getting quiet when processing 29:57 – Public speaking fear, reps & sets, and keeping the bar high 32:16 – Ego, promotion, and the cone of silence at senior levels 36:27 – Training your team to give you unvarnished feedback 40:24 – Feedback as the breakfast of champions (and why it stings) 42:09 – Imposter syndrome at the Combined Arms Center 46:01 – Clarity vs. certainty: the signpost town hall during organizational change 52:05 – True north and values: integrity, empathy, resilience, "quit tomorrow," loyalty 58:33 – The hurdles metaphor: falling, resilience, and running through obstacles 1:02:10 – Journaling to process emotion and see your own growth over time 1:07:17 – Time, priorities, and the cost of diluted focus 1:15:02 – Knowing your weaknesses and starting with them in interviews 1:16:15 – Where to find When the Map Runs Out and connect with LTG Beagle 1:17:53 – Cal's closing: four practical actions you can take this week 🧭 Practical Ways to Apply This Episode Create your own "How to Handle Me" document One page, honest, and specific: quirks, tendencies, what you're working on, and how people can best work with you. Start (or restart) a journaling habit For the next 7 days, write at least one sentence about how you're feeling and what you're facing. Ask for one piece of real feedback Pick one person you trust. Ask, "What's one thing I could do differently that would make me a better leader for you?" Then thank them. Practice clarity in uncertainty In one messy situation this week, clearly state: What we know What we don't know What we're going to do next
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    1 hr and 21 mins
  • 132: Joe McCormack — Special Operations Communication Expert Shares How to Say Less, Communicate With Clarity, and Lead With Quiet Confidence

    132: Joe McCormack — Special Operations Communication Expert Shares How to Say Less, Communicate With Clarity, and Lead With Quiet Confidence
    Nov 14 2025

    Connect with Joe: https://www.linkedin.com/in/josephpmccormack/

    Learn more about The Brief Lab: https://thebrieflab.com/

    How do you become the kind of leader who cuts through noise, communicates with clarity, and actually moves people to action?

    In this episode of the Intentional Leader Podcast, Cal talks with Joe McCormack—founder of The Brief Lab and author of Brief, Noise, and Quiet Works. Joe has trained elite military units and Fortune 500 executives to be clear, concise, and intentional communicators, and to rediscover the quiet that makes powerful communication possible.

    They explore:

    • Why noise is the real villain in your leadership story

    • The "sword and shield" of effective communication: brief (cut through clutter) and quiet (protect your attention)

    • Why being brief actually requires more preparation, not less

    • The 3 levels of detail and how to stop overwhelming people

    • How to build quiet into your day so you think better and lead better

    • Why thinking time is part of your job, not a luxury

    • How to use small pockets of quiet before and after meetings

    • Practical ways to manage your phone instead of being managed by it

    • How AI + quiet work can become a leadership superpower

    If you've ever felt frustrated by endless meetings, rambling updates, or your own distracted brain, this conversation will give you practical tools you can use this week.

    Episode Highlights

    • Noise as the villain – How constant distractions, disruptions, and devices are eroding our ability to think and communicate.

    • The brief & quiet toolkit – Brief is the sword that cuts through clutter; quiet is the shield that protects your attention so you can prepare.

    • Why we overtalk – Insecurity, lack of preparation, ego, and a poor understanding of attention spans.

    • The 3 levels of detail – Level 1 (headline), Level 2 (support), Level 3 (full detail). Most leadership moments only need Levels 1–2.

    • Clarity like comedy – Sequence and timing matter. If it takes too long to get to the punchline, you lose people—even if the content is good.

    • Quiet as an appointment – Why you should literally block quiet time on your calendar and not treat it like a "snow day."

    • Quiet before collaboration – Simple practices like two minutes of silence at the start of meetings can transform outcomes.

    • Redefining work in the AI age – Undistracted thinking is becoming a rare and valuable skill; AI works best when you can sit still and think.

    • Your phone works for you – Reframing your phone as a tool, not a master.

    Practical Takeaways

    • Take 3 minutes before your next meeting or email to decide: What's my headline?

    • Use Joe's 3 levels of detail filter: Am I giving a headline, a trailer, or the entire movie?

    • Block 15 minutes of quiet in the morning and afternoon, and connect it directly to upcoming or recent communication.

    • Start your next team meeting with 2 minutes of silence for everyone to think about what they want to say and what they hope to get out of the meeting.

    • Put your phone in another room for your quiet block and remind yourself: My phone works for me; I don't work for it.
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    56 mins
  • 131: Dr. Liz Werly — What an Army Psychologist for Special Ops Teaches About High Performance and Emotional Intelligence

    131: Dr. Liz Werly — What an Army Psychologist for Special Ops Teaches About High Performance and Emotional Intelligence
    Nov 7 2025
    How do the best military leaders go from operating at an already elite level… to an even higher level under pressure? In this episode, Army psychologist Dr. Liz Werly (who works directly with some of the U.S. military's most elite units) breaks down the exact framework she uses to help high performers: build accurate self-awareness using gold-standard assessments, "engineer" their personality to fit the context (calm under fire and present at home), develop emotional intelligence as the differentiator once IQ and talent are in place, and translate values into visible daily behaviors that protect what matters most. We also dig into groundedness and intentionality as core high-performance habits, the basics that leaders ignore at their own risk (sleep, rhythm, connection), and how generational shifts and resiliency trends are reshaping today's force and workplaces. In this episode, you'll learn: How Dr. Werly assesses elite leaders (IQ, Big Five, emotional measures) and turns data into a growth plan Why emotional intelligence becomes more important than raw intellect at higher levels of leadership A simple values → beliefs → behaviors framework (including the "20-minute Lego" example) How to recognize when your strengths (e.g., robotic under pressure) become liabilities at home or with your team Practical tools for grounding, bandwidth management, and emotional "dialing" What leaders need to understand about younger generations, resiliency, and expectations If you're already a high performer and want to become a more grounded, self-aware, and sustainable leader, this conversation is for you. Mentioned in this episode: Connect with Dr. Liz Werly on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabeth-h-werly-psy-d-b843b817/ Join the waitlist for the next Intentional Leader Lab cohort: intentionalleaderlab.com The views expressed in this episode are those of the participants and do not represent the official position of the U.S. Government or the U.S. Army. Chapters: 00:00 Intro – How elite leaders go from high to higher 00:33 Disclaimer + what this episode will cover 01:06 Welcome to The Intentional Leader Podcast + IL Lab mention 01:36 Meet Dr. Liz Werly & her work with elite military units 03:35 "If I walked into your office…" – her framework for high performers 05:19 Patterns, personality, and "engineering" your strengths 07:42 Robotic under pressure, distant at home – dialing traits up/down 09:20 Big Five, gold-standard assessments & why cheap tests fall short 11:24 Why tests need interpretation, not labels 13:18 How leaders react when they see their data 16:50 Values-based goals & Acceptance and Commitment mindset 18:58 IQ vs personality vs EQ – what you can actually change 21:00 The four pillars of emotional intelligence (Liz's breakdown) 24:25 Why EQ is the edge once IQ is "good enough" 24:50 Groundedness & intentionality as #1 performance levers 26:44 Designing your "ideal day" for this season of life 29:04 Sleep, basics, and whole-person performance 29:50 Values → beliefs → behaviors (the 20-minute Lego example) 32:36 When values collide (deployments, travel, guilt & shame) 34:44 Emotions as information vs letting emotions drive decisions 36:30 Generational friction & why it's an emotional intelligence issue 39:25 Tech, expectations, and how younger leaders are different 41:06 Resiliency, safety culture, and maturity gaps 43:18 Recruiting, mental health, and opportunity in today's force 45:00 Where to connect with Liz + her final advice to leaders 46:24 Outro – 5 practical challenges: grounding, values, bandwidth, dialing, feedback
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    49 mins
  • 130: Dr. Zach Mercurio — The Hidden Engine of High-Performing Teams: Mattering, Trust, and Purpose-Driven Leadership

    130: Dr. Zach Mercurio — The Hidden Engine of High-Performing Teams: Mattering, Trust, and Purpose-Driven Leadership
    Oct 24 2025

    Apply to work with me 1-1: https://courses.calwalters.me/coaching

    Join the Intentional Leader Lab waitlist: https://courses.calwalters.me/intentional-leader-lab

    Learn more about Zach: https://www.zachmercurio.com/

    In this conversation, Dr. Zach Mercurio discusses the importance of creating a sense of purpose and mattering within teams. He emphasizes that feeling valued is a basic human instinct and that leaders play a crucial role in fostering an environment where everyone feels significant. The discussion covers the psychological impacts of not feeling like one matters, the barriers leaders face in demonstrating care, and practical strategies for enhancing team dynamics through small, intentional interactions. The conversation ultimately highlights the shift from traditional command-and-control leadership to a more trust-based approach that prioritizes relationships and emotional intelligence.

    00:00 Creating a Sense of Purpose in Teams

    02:10 Understanding the Cost of Not Mattering

    04:28 The Role of Leaders in Mattering

    07:56 The Importance of Mattering in Work and Life

    11:41 Barriers to Caring in Leadership

    16:10 The Shift from Command and Control to Trust-Based Leadership

    19:35 Leading Indicators vs. Lagging Indicators

    23:28 The Power of Small Interactions

    28:59 Practical Actions for Leaders to Show Mattering

    44:26 Noticing, Affirming, and Needing in Leadership
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    55 mins