I've been a participant in the wellness and wellbeing industry since 2002 and working in it since 2009. That's 24 years of being in this world, watching it evolve, watching the science shift, and watching myself shift along with it.

This episode is an honest review of the things I used to believe, used to teach, used to post about, and have since had to let go of.I'm Jen Wilson, The Healing Rebel, and if you've been on your own wellness path for a while, you'll probably recognise yourself in some of these. The point isn't that I got it wrong and feel bad about it. The point is that being willing to update your beliefs as you learn more is part of being a serious practitioner and a serious human.

What I unlearned:

That science is the pinnacle of all knowledge (it's brilliant, but human biology doesn't always behave the way science needs it to)

That I was indestructible and could just push through with more effort, more workouts, more discipline

That "go hard or go home" gym culture was actually healthy

That rest is lazy or unproductive

That veganism was the healthiest way to eat (after 20-25 years vegetarian/vegan, my body told me otherwise)

That elimination diets are a long-term solution

That you can just push through tiredness, fatigue, and burnout

That suppressing emotions is the same as being strong

That being on the contraceptive pill for years had no effect on my emotional landscape

That a chronic illness diagnosis (Crohn's, in my case) was the end of the road

That fasting is universally healthy, particularly for women in the perimenopausal years

A few questions I answer:

Why isn't science always the final word in wellbeing?

Is veganism actually healthy for everyone?

Why is rest so often confused with laziness?

Should women in perimenopause be doing intermittent fasting?

Can chronic illness actually lead to a better life?

What's the link between contraceptive pills and emotional flatlining?

Drop your own "what I've unlearned" moments into the comments, I'd genuinely love to know.

Free download: my Lymphatic Drainage Routine to get you started. https://iamjenwilson.thrivecart.com/lymph/About Jen:

Jen Wilson is The Healing Rebel, a holistic wellness practitioner with over 17 years in practice, supporting capable, responsible women over 40 who give to everyone and struggle to receive. Working from her private home studio in Springburn, North Glasgow, Jen offers The Reset, The Recalibration, Manual Lymphatic Drainage, Therapeutic Fascia Massage, Menopause Massage, Reiki, Reiki Drumming, and Sound Healing, plus online classes and an on-demand subscription library. Access my FREE Posture for Health mini workshop here https://iamjenwilson.thrivecart.com/posture-for-health/Get my book 9 Rules to Sort Your Shit here - https://amzn.to/4eYtVnqRebel and Divine Anarchist hoodies and t-shirts here https://iamjenwilson-2.teemill.com/collection/new/Gut Friendly, Easy Recipe book here https://amzn.to/4gJsGICFor all information on working with me:www.iamjenwilson.comFollow my social channelsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/iamjenwilsonLike my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/IamJenWilsonFollow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/iam.jenwilson

"Safety isn't the absence of threat, it's the presence of true connection." That single sentence has been running through my mind for a week, and this episode is me thinking out loud about it.I'm Jen Wilson, The Healing Rebel, and today I'm exploring the tension between self-soothing, self-regulation, and the idea that we actually need community and connection to regulate our nervous systems properly.

The conversation started when I heard someone say that self-soothing doesn't really work, that you need to be in connection with other people to soothe and regulate. My honest response was, yes and. Because there's nuance here. There's a level of self-responsibility we need to take, and there's a time and place where you absolutely need other humans around you. The answer depends on where you are on your journey, what you've already learned, and what's available to you in the moment.

In this episode:

Why self-soothing alone isn't always enough.

The difference between being alone and being lonely.

What self-regulation actually looks like in practice (drumming, blankets, fascia work, smoothies, the lot).

Why some classic self-compassion techniques like self-hugging make some of us feel agitated rather than soothed.

The role of true community and safe people in nervous system regulation.

Why talking ideas through with another human beats running them in your own head.

Where AI tools fit (and where they fall short) when you need to actually be heard.

The cultural nuance in how we communicate, and why it matters.

A few questions I answer:

What's the difference between self-regulation and co-regulation?

Can you regulate your nervous system on your own?

Why doesn't self-soothing work for everyone?

How do you know when you need community versus when you need solitude?

What are some practical ways to self-soothe that actually work?

This episode is a thinking-out-loud in the moment one. I want to know what you think. Drop your thoughts into the comments wherever you're listening. How did that opening statement land for you? What came up? Let's make this a real conversation.

About Jen:

Jen Wilson is The Healing Rebel, a holistic wellness practitioner with over 17 years in practice, supporting capable, responsible women over 40 who give to everyone and struggle to receive. Working from her private home studio in Springburn, North Glasgow, Jen offers The Reset, The Recalibration, Manual Lymphatic Drainage, Therapeutic Fascia Massage, Menopause Massage, Reiki, Reiki Drumming, and Sound Healing, plus online classes and an on-demand subscription library.

Access my FREE Lymphatic Drainage Routine here https://iamjenwilson.thrivecart.com/lymph/

Are you a firstborn daughter who's always switched on, always scanning for the next thing to fix, and secretly knackered underneath it all? This episode is for you.I'm Jen Wilson, The Healing Rebel, and today I'm talking about eldest daughter syndrome, nervous system dysregulation, and why so many of us firstborn daughters and born leaders end up in burnout more than once before we finally listen.I share my own experience of hitting a Crohn's disease flare in 2022 that became the wake-up call I couldn't ignore, plus research from the International Journal of Creative Research Thoughts on eldest daughter syndrome, and why Gabor Maté's work in The Myth of Normal and When the Body Says No keeps showing up in conversations about autoimmune conditions, chronic illness, and the personality types most likely to develop them.In this episode:What eldest daughter syndrome actually is (and why it's not in the DSM-5)Why firstborn daughters are wired to fix, help, and people-please from childhoodThe link between being "the responsible one" and burnout, anxiety, depression, and autoimmune conditionsWhy being fit isn't the same as being healthyHow to spot the signs you're running on high alert without realising itWhy saying no to one thing lets you say yes to what your soul actually wantsWhat my clients who book their treatments a year ahead know that the rest of us are still learningA few questions I answer:What is eldest daughter syndrome?Why do firstborn daughters burn out so often?Is there a link between personality type and autoimmune disease?How do I know if I'm dysregulated?What can firstborn daughters do to start recovering from burnout?If this resonates, share it with a firstborn daughter or born leader you love who's heading back toward burnout. And drop me a comment wherever you're listening. I want this to be a two-way conversation.About Jen:Jen Wilson is The Healing Rebel, a holistic wellness practitioner with over 15 years in practice, supporting capable, responsible women over 40 who give to everyone and struggle to receive. Working from her private home studio in Springburn, North Glasgow, Jen offers The Reset, The Recalibration, Manual Lymphatic Drainage, Therapeutic Fascia Massage, Menopause Massage, Reiki, Reiki Drumming, and Sound Healing, plus online Pilates and movement classes.Access me FREE Lymphatic Drainage Routine here https://iamjenwilson.thrivecart.com/lymph/Access my FREE Posture for Health mini workshop here https://iamjenwilson.thrivecart.com/posture-for-health/Get my book 9 Rules to Sort Your Shit here - https://amzn.to/4eYtVnqRebel and Divine Anarchist hoodies and t-shirts here https://iamjenwilson-2.teemill.com/collection/new/Gut Friendly, Easy Recipe book here https://amzn.to/4gJsGICFor all information on working with me:www.iamjenwilson.comFollow my social channelsSubscribe to my YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/iamjenwilsonLike my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/IamJenWilsonFollow me on Instagram https://instagram.com/iam.jenwilson