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It's episode 306: we're back in Haddonfield, kicking off the latest How to Survive Franchise Review.... and I guess everyone's entitled to one good scare, huh?

Halloween (1978) tells the story of Laurie, a high-school student with a Halloween-night babysitting job. Throughout the day (and into the night), Laurie and her friends are terrorised by the psychopathic Michael Myers. Michael has escaped containment in the local mental asylum / prison and returns to town on the 15-year anniversary of the night he murdered his sister.

We talk about psychiatric ethics; a topsy-turvy justice system; a better criteria for learner-drivers; and the world's fastest sexual encounter.

All of which leads to one question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: there's nothing left; no reason, no conscience, no understanding in even the most rudimentary sense of life or death, of good or evil, right or wrong..

Next time, we're back in 2026 with Obsession...

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It's episode 305, and I don't know if you've noticed, but there are some oddballs walking around this place.

Hokum (2026) finds American novelist Ohm Bauman on a pilgramage to scatter his parents' ashes in rural Ireland. Staying at an isolated hotel, he sinks into a depressive spiral, only to find renewed purpose when a member of staff goes missing. Will Ohm find them? Is the magic mushroom milk-drinking man in the woods responsible? And what's up with that honeymoon suite that's always locked...?

Hokum proves divisive in HTS towers and is either great stuff or barely up to snuff, depending on who you believe. But after a touch of praising/berating, there's plenty of time left over to discuss unlikeable protagonists, haunted hotels, the importance of CCTV, Ohms Under The Hammer, curate's eggs and how best to exit a van at speed.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: there are worse things than strangers out there yet.

Next time, we're making a start on perhaps our last great unwatched horror franchise, with a revisit of Halloween (1978).

It's episode 304 (part 2), and I'm in a bit of a bind.

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple (2026) picks up where the last film left off, with Spike in the custody of the menacing Fingers, led by the even more menacing still Sir Lord Jimmy Crystal. Can he escape, or will he be forced to take part in their diabolical dishing out of charity across the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Britain? Meanwhile, Dr. Kelson makes an unexpected connection with Samson, an Alpha infected, that could end up changing the world.

We talk about a surprisingly touching and funny horror movie, featuring a star turn from Ralph Fiennes and some high-quality needle drops, whether you should return home in a time of crisis, whether you need to follow through on your promises to psychopaths and where you should pour boiling water in a hostage situation.

Plus, a long and in-depth discussion of whether the 28 Years Later films' invoking of one of the worst serial sex-offenders in British history as a pantomime villain is, or could ever be, justifiable. When you write it out it really does seem like a misstep doesn't it?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I'm NHS; free of charge!

Next time, we're off to the cinema to see new haunted hotel film Hokum (2026).