To access extended episodes of Historical Homos, join our Patreon.
Our community awaits with legs open and lips parted 🤤

www.patreon.com/historicalhomos

Why oh why are men so obsessed with our penises?

Join us today as we embark on a dick-scented odyssey to answer one of the 21st century's most urgent questions.

• 5,000 years ago, the Mesopotamians said their gods' divine jizz created the world.
• The Egyptians agreed, worshipping the power of giant, divine cocks.
• Which is also why they cut their enemies' dicks off after a battle to present to Pharaoh.
• The Greeks then argued for a tiny, cropped penis...which is a lot BETTER for procreation, actually, thank you Aristotle for saying that!
• The Romans made everything about horse cocks and sexual domination. Shocker.
• And the Christians – well, the Christians would prefer you stop talking such FILTH, you disgusting sinner!

It's been a distressingly complex couple of millennia for humanity, full of all this penis pandemonium. We've sent shuttles to the moon, but we still can't figure out our own shafts.

Is the dick really divine? Or is the penis a spiritual problem? Will we ever master our members? Or do we have to accept that our schlongs belong to another side of ourselves?

Join Bash and his brilliant, hilarious guest – author and playwright R. Eric Thomas (https://rericthomas.com) – as they try desperately to answer all these penile questions.

Now, come on in! The water is...human temperature.

🎧 Listen now on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Penis weights and hung garden gnomes sold separately.

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

⭐ Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

Episode Credits
Written and hosted by Bash
Edited by Alex Toskas
Produced by Dani Henion
Guest: R. Eric Thomas

© Sebastian Hendra 2026

We've got a special treat for you this week, my little Hormones!

Historical Homos is proud to present this episode of the Spirits Podcast, a history and comedy pod devoted to mythology, folklore, and the occult.

Every episode of the Spirits Podcast features co-hosts Julia and Amanda mixing a drink and discovering a new story or character from a wide range of places, eras, and cultures. Learn brand-new stories and enjoy retellings of your favorite myths, served over ice every week, on Spirits.

They're fun, they're clever, they are effectively our spiritual sister podcast (get it? cuz SPIRITS). So please enjoy this episode and we'll be back in your earholes next week with more OG Historical Homos content!

***

Spirits Podcast: "Jewish Lesbian Vampires"

Author Samara Breger is here to reclaim vampires as queer, feminist, and Jewish figures. Let's find out how!

Content Warning: This episode contains conversations about or mentions of antisemitism, The Holocaust, eugenics, blood, homophobia/lesbophobia, misogyny, stalking, predatory relationships, animal death, sex, and death.

Guest
Samara Breger writes books about women in improbable circumstances falling in love. Before she started writing books, she worked in public radio, podcasting, and digital journalism. She is a proud News and Documentary Emmy loser. If you peek into her work history, you'll find a lot of stuff about sex, reproductive health, and queer people. Her new book, A Long Time Dead, is now available.

Find Us Online
- Website & Transcripts: spiritspodcast.com
- Patreon: patreon.com/spiritspodcast
- Merch: spiritspodcast.com/merch
- Instagram: instagram.com/spiritspodcast
- Bluesky: bsky.app/profile/spiritspodcast.com
- Twitter: twitter.com/spiritspodcast
- Tumblr: spiritspodcast.tumblr.com

Cast & Crew
- Co-Hosts: Julia Schifini and Amanda McLoughlin
- Editor: Bren Frederick
- Music: Brandon Grugle, based on "Danger Storm" by Kevin MacLeod
- Artwork: Allyson Wakeman
- Multitude: multitude.productions

To access extended episodes of Historical Homos, join our Patreon. Our community awaits with legs open and lips parted 🤤

www.patreon.com/historicalhomos

Philippe d’Orléans is back! And it's no more Mr. Nice Queen thanks to his brother, Louis XIV, and his bitchass absolutist ways.

In Part Two of our series on Philippe, this fabulous fuckboi nepo baby pass around party bottom of 17th century France, our hero is getting fed up with playing second fiddle.

Fresh off the suspicious death (aka murder?) of his wife and the return to court of his chaotic boyfriend, the Chevalier de Lorraine, Philippe dives headfirst into the messy latter half of his astonishing life.

A brilliant military strategist, he will win a major victory for France (which Louis just cannot handle) and get himself banned from ever holding a future post in the army.

He will marry his second wife, the fantastically witty Madame Palatine (aka Liselotte of the Rhineland), and try her patience by spending all her money on his conniving boyfriends.

He will also become the second richest man in France after his brother, thanks to inheritances, real estate development (is there anything gayer?), and a private collection of Chinese porcelains that Bash is looking to purchase, if anyone has any leads.

The playboy becomes the player, in other words, though Louis will continue to play him at every turn. And when Philippe's son starts getting passed up for army jobs – things get heated rivalry (but not sexy, just kind of plain rivalry).

In fact, things get so heated rivalry that heads begin to roll...but in the end, Philippe will have the last word.

🎧 Listen on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or wherever you pod. Lace cuffs and Ming Dynasty butt plugs (porcelain) sold separately.

📱 Follow Historical Homos on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, and do ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠sign up to our newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ if you care about gay people, like, at all.

⭐ Most importantly, if you like what you hear, please do leave us a ⭐ FIVE STAR ONLY ⭐ review.

Episode Credits
Written and hosted by Bash
Edited by Alex Toskas
Produced by Dani Henion
Guest: Dr. Jonathan Spangler

© Sebastian Hendra 2026