Who are we, you ask? Demons to some, angels to others 😈

This week, we’re analyzing Kirsty’s Final Girl credentials in one of the most iconic franchises in horrorstory, Hellraiser (1987). She’s the trifecta of Final Girl resourcefulness with a perfect blend of physical strength, intellectual capability, and emotional awareness. We just wish she had a lot more screen time in this one.

Listen to (or watch) Sarah’s guest appearance on Getting Offed, in which we talk about the Hellraiser theme song!

Listen to Sarah and Kellie’s guest appearance last year on Blood in the Cornfields, in which we discuss Kirsty in Hellraiser 1 and 2!

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Come get some!!! This week we’re talking about Beth, the feral Final Girl from Evil Dead Rise (2023) and soon-to-be mom. Beth learns very quickly how to engage those mama bear instincts and protect her nieces and nephew from Deadites taking over the building, but how does she measure up to Ash’s legacy, or the legacy of her more recent predecessor, Mia? How is she with a chainsaw? Only you can decide, although we have some opinions if you wanna hear them. Happy Mother’s Day!

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Tales from the Crypt’s Demon Knight (1995) is one of the ZANIEST (see what we did there?) movies with a great Final Girl, and we love that about it. Jeryline is a gruff take-no-sh*t hotel employee on work release, played by Jada Pinkett in a very Ripley-esque performance. With practical effects and a wildly solid soundtrack, this is a don’t-miss movie that is guaranteed a good time.

Check out Kellie’s Final Girl Playlist!

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NEVER mistake a woman's kindness for weakness!

This week we dissect Linda from Sam Raimi’s Send Help (2026), played brilliantly by Rachel McAdams, who has quickly become one of our all-time favorite Final Girls. In this empowering survival-and-revenge story, Linda’s superior skills and competence replace professional humiliation after she and her misogynistic boss become stranded on a desert island. And she even battles a DEMON PIG! As Linda tells us, no help is coming, so you'd better start saving yourself!

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As usual, marijuana saves another disastrous day! If Idle Hands (1999) are the devil’s playground, it makes sense that a demonic entity would look for the laziest stoner to inhabit for its evil deeds. This is where our Final Dude Anton (Devon Sawa) comes in, along with our two Co-Final Girls Debi (Vivica A. Fox) and Molly (Jessica Alba), who battle the possessed appendage as it rips (lol) its way through town. This is our 4/20 episode, and of course we had to call in Eric to help us cover this one.

Put some pants on and join us, baby snakes!

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Find Eric at theheshfiles.com

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Witches! Dancers! Bright colors! Creepy music! Killer dogs! What more could we ask for? Suspiria (1977) is a horror classic, and Suzy is a classic Final Girl. But is she an “outrun the killer” girlie or “stab the killer’s sparkly ghost outline with broken crystal plumage” girlie? This week we’re covering this Argento classic and its dreamlike vibes, whether the witchcraft was legit or not, the lack of plot, and everything in between.

Spoilers ahead!

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Hot zombie survival tip: blend in by making your face vacant with a hint of sadness like a drunk who lost a bet. This week we’re covering the Final Girl adventure of Liz from Shaun of the Dead (2004). She’s sick of her boyfriend’s sh*t and his inability to act like an adult. And what woman hasn’t been there, so we don’t blame her - but can a zombie apocalypse save her relationship? Let’s find out.

Warning, spoilers ahead!

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Au revoir poor Johnny! Pearl is the brutal and delirious Final Girl Villain of Ti West's 2022 Pearl, part of the X trilogy. With so many unsettling scenes and so many genuine WTF moments, this film is bound to be a cult classic and we can't decide if we're here for it or not. Also, did anyone else catch the parallels to The Wizard of Oz? Just us?

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