OK, Dream with me. The Maha'a Tiki Bar just inherited five million dollars. The world is our oyster. Besides the obvious Velvet Elvis that we are going to commission for behind the bar, how else are we going to blow out this bar to piss off our neighbors?
God, I love this game.
Welcome to the Lounge!

Per Patty's lead, we will be taking a Black Light to the Maha'a Tiki Bar. We don't know what we will find, but sure enough, it will not end well. Come on in. Take a seat. Wait. No. Not on that couch. Trust me. You'll thank me later.

Let's warm up those vocal cords before we all launch into this week's "mini-sode". We're singing songs that make no sense but who cares. We've got commitment behind our eyes and in our voices. Sure, our mothers had no idea what "Afternoon Delight" meant when they were singing it to us with the radio while they were packing up our school lunches. It doesn't matter. They were committed and off-key. Exactly what we needed it to be.

Listen. I understand that you're here for this week's episode but we don't open for another five to ten minutes. If you need to kill time, I'm sure the Assia Bowl place down the block is open. We'll see you soon...in five to ten minutes.

Glad you could make it for the "mini" episode today. If you want to bring a guest along, you are encouraged. As a matter of fact, ask Mrs. Callahan from down the street. You know, the older lady who seems nice but you have no idea what her name is? Yeah. Her. Her name is Mrs. Callahan. We guarantee it. Invite her over.

Are you looking to shed a few pounds? Well, look no further because you have come the right place. With the help of MOTH and her newly found love of making salads, we here at the Ranch will get you looking trim and healthy in no time. Sure, MOTH serves her salad with a side of cake but don't let that stop you from making poor decisions. Come on in. Your barstool is waiting.

We have proof if you don't listen and enjoy this week's episode, Patty's mother will find you and give you a firm talking-to. On that note, once you hear this episode, you will never experience feminine hygiene the same way again. Enjoy!

So much to discuss. Erin was on the Sherri Shepard Show. MOTH has a trainer. And Patty seems to love the idea of becoming a U.N. translator.
Grab a high top and welcome to the Lounge.