What if divorce didn’t have to mean years of litigation, mounting legal fees, and a judge deciding your family’s future?

In this episode of Coparenting Beyond Conflict, Sol speaks with Amanda Singer, a family law mediator and attorney who has spent more than 13 years helping couples resolve divorce and custody issues outside of court.

Amanda explains how mediation offers families a more collaborative and cost-effective path through separation. Rather than battling through attorneys, couples work with a neutral professional to create agreements around parenting plans, support, and property division while staying in control of the outcome.

They discuss what makes mediation successful, how therapists can improve outcomes, how to handle high-conflict personalities, and why parenting agreements should include a framework for future changes. Amanda also shares insights into premarital mediation and how prenuptial agreements can strengthen relationships before marriage.

Whether you’re facing divorce, navigating a challenging co-parenting relationship, or planning a future marriage, this conversation offers practical tools for reducing conflict and making thoughtful decisions.

Learn more about Amanda Singer and West Coast Family Mediation: https://westcoastfamilymediation.com/

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Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YY1hp4ocAYs

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Keywords
family mediation, divorce mediation, co-parenting, parenting plans, family law, child custody, high-conflict divorce, conflict resolution, alternative dispute resolution, prenup, premarital mediation, child support, spousal support, blended families, bonus parents, divorce without court, custody agreements, emotional regulation, therapy and divorce, California mediation

Takeaways

• Conflict is normal, but how you handle it determines whether your family can move forward.
• Mediation allows parents to stay in control instead of leaving decisions to a judge.
• Couples do not need to agree on everything to benefit from mediation; they only need a shared commitment to work things out.
• Therapy can help parents regulate emotions and communicate more effectively during mediation.
• Parenting plans should include a process for revisiting decisions as children grow.
• Common future issues include screen time, social media, driving, and introducing new partners.
• Mediators can help balance power when one parent is more dominant or controlling.
• Blended family mediation can help bonus parents become part of the solution.
• Premarital mediation gives couples a collaborative way to create prenuptial agreements.
• Getting support early can prevent conflict from escalating.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Amanda Singer
02:06 Why Conflict Is Normal
04:17 What Mediation Really Looks Like
07:24 Who Is a Good Fit for Mediation?
09:28 How to Convince a Reluctant Co-Parent
11:06 Returning to Mediation as Children Grow
12:46 What Parenting Plans Often Miss
15:25 Managing Power Imbalances
17:14 Navigating High-Conflict Dynamics
19:00 Blended Families and Bonus Parents
23:03 Why Therapy Helps Mediation
27:39 Premarital Mediation and Prenups
31:58 Lightning Round Insights
35:08 One Final Piece of Advice

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

A high-conflict custody battle can make even the most devoted parent feel powerless. In this episode, Derek Salyers shares the deeply personal story of fighting for shared parenting after being falsely accused, cut off from his son for months, and pulled into a years-long family court battle.

Derek opens up about the mental health toll many fathers silently carry, the realities of parallel parenting, and why he believes the family court system still struggles with bias. He also shares how AI tools like ChatGPT helped him navigate legal documents, parenting plans, communication, and court preparation during one of the hardest periods of his life.

This episode contains discussion of suicide and mental health struggles. Please listen with care.

Learn more about Derek Salyers and Fathers for Fair Custody: https://fathersforfaircustody.com

Get Derek’s book, The Forgotten Fathers on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CBN8M3XB

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Custody Journal (Free Documentation Tool): https://custodyjournal.com

Watch this episode on YouTube: https://youtu.be/rIqoK79LcrU

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Keywords
high conflict custody battle, fathers rights, shared parenting, false accusations in family court, parallel parenting, fatherhood and divorce, custody battle mental health, AI for family court, right of first refusal, co-parenting communication

Takeaways

• Parallel Parenting Can Protect Peace: In some high-conflict situations, minimizing communication is healthier than forcing collaboration.
• AI Can Be a Powerful Tool: ChatGPT helped Derek understand legal language, prepare questions, structure communication, and think through parenting plans.
• Always Fact-Check AI: AI can hallucinate cases and legal information, making verification essential before using anything in court.
• Right of First Refusal Matters: Parenting plan clauses can significantly impact how much real parenting time each parent receives.
• Documentation Can Change Outcomes: Photos, videos, receipts, calendars, and journals can become critical evidence in custody disputes.
• Fathers’ Mental Health Needs Attention: Derek speaks openly about suicidal thoughts, isolation, and the emotional impact of losing contact with a child.
• You Can’t Control the Other Household: Peace often begins when parents stop trying to control what happens outside their parenting time.
• Growth Is Still Possible: Even in devastating circumstances, healing, self-reflection, and personal growth can emerge from the experience.

Chapters
01:27 – From Divorce to Parallel Parenting
04:22 – How AI Helped Build a Parenting Plan
08:04 – False Allegations & Losing Contact With His Son
13:18 – The Story Behind The Forgotten Fathers
16:48 – Men’s Mental Health During Custody Battles
20:16 – Fighting for Shared Parenting Rights
27:57 – The Risks and Benefits of Using AI in Court
32:19 – The Biggest Lie Fathers Are Told About Custody
37:00 – Letting Go of Control in Co-Parenting
39:55 – Advice for Parents in the Darkest Moments

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond

Divorce is often framed as something you “win” or “lose”—but what if that mindset is exactly what keeps you stuck? In this episode, family law attorney and author Nicole Sodoma shares candid, hard-earned insights from both sides of the courtroom. After decades advising clients—and then going through her own divorce—Nicole reveals what actually matters when you’re navigating high-conflict co-parenting.

From why saying “I’m sorry” can be disempowering, to the realities of parallel parenting, to the small communication shifts that can completely change your dynamic, this conversation is grounded, practical, and refreshingly honest. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stuck in conflict, or unsure how to move forward, this episode offers a clearer path.

Learn more about Nicole Sodoma: https://nicolesodoma.com

Get the BestInterest Coparenting App: https://bestinterest.app/

Subscribe to our newsletter to hear about new episodes and build community: https://bestinterest.app/subscribe-podcast/

Watch This Episode: https://youtu.be/y_uWkYGxTPI

Keywords
co-parenting, high conflict divorce, parallel parenting, family court reality, divorce attorney advice, co-parenting boundaries, communication strategies, conscious uncoupling, nesting after divorce, parenting plan challenges

Takeaways

• You Don’t Win in Family Court: Even when you “win” an issue, it rarely feels like victory—and much is outside your control.
• Stop Saying “I’m Sorry”: Well-meaning language can reinforce a victim mindset and undermine your sense of agency.
• Parallel Parenting Is a Path, Not a Fix: It can reduce conflict, but it won’t eliminate disagreements—you still need systems for decision-making.
• Communication Is Everything: The structure, timing, and tone of how you communicate can either escalate conflict or create stability.
• Pick Your Priorities Early: Knowing what truly matters helps you avoid getting lost in battles driven by principle instead of purpose.
• You Can’t Change Your Ex: The only leverage you have is how you show up, communicate, and respond.
• Freedom and Grief Coexist: Emotional ups and downs are normal—and temporary—as you move through separation.

Chapters

00:01 – Meet Nicole Sodoma
02:25 – How Divorce Changed Her Perspective
04:07 – Why “I’m Sorry” Can Be Harmful
05:27 – Nesting: When It Doesn’t Work
07:26 – Conscious Uncoupling: Reality Check
10:04 – Parallel Parenting Explained
11:57 – Boundaries That Protect You
14:28 – Structuring Communication
17:49 – Handling Disagreements
18:47 – Picking Your Battles
21:21 – The Myth of “Winning”
24:52 – The Most Underrated Skill
26:54 – Final Advice

What if your co-parent’s toxic messages never even reached you? Thousands of parents are already finding peace with the BestInterest Coparenting App. As a listener, you can too. Claim 40% off an annual subscription here: https://bestinterest.app/beyond