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CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

What do cookies have to do with the resurrection? More than you'd think. Resident Comic Theologians Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) join Pastors Eric and Bob for a short take on John 14:1–14 — the "I am the way, the truth, and the life" passage — and end up somewhere between funeral theology, grief policing, and Thomas asking Jesus to please just answer the question.

• Why "do not let your hearts be troubled" is one of the most misused lines in funeral history
• Thomas as the pragmatist apostle who does not sign documents without clarification
• The I AM tradition in John's gospel and why soldiers fell down at the arrest
• "If you ask anything in my name, I will do it" — and why pastors quietly skip that verse
• Abby's story about a priest who compared death to getting an oatmeal raisin cookie when you wanted chocolate chip

"I believe you, Jesus. But at the time you said this, school shootings weren't a concept in anyone's mind." — Abby Evans

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John 14:1–14 (NRSVue)

"Jesus said to his disciples, 'Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, so that where I am, there you may be also. And you know the way to the place where I am going.' Thomas said to him, 'Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way?' Jesus said to him, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. From now on you do know him and have seen him.' Philip said to him, 'Lord, show us the Father, and we will be satisfied.' Jesus said to him, 'Have I been with you all this time, Philip, and you still do not know me? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, "Show us the Father"? Do you not believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I say to you I do not speak on my own; but the Father who dwells in me does his works. Believe me that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; but if you do not, then believe because of the works themselves. Very truly, I tell you, the one who believes in me will also do the works that I do and, in fact, will do greater works than these, because I am going to the Father. I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If in my name you ask me for anything, I will do it.'"

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
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Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send us Fan Mail

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

Jesus says he's the sheep gate. Then he says he's the shepherd. Confused yet?

Comedians Teresa Roberts Logan (@laughingredhead) and Zach Funk (@zachfunkyeah) join Bob and Eric to work through John 10:1–10, and the question that won't go away is: who decided the church gets to decide who's a thief? Teresa brings her full ex-vangelical energy to the table — the damage being done in Jesus' name, the easily-offended fortress-church culture she walked away from, and Van Gogh's sermon on being a stranger on the earth. Zach wonders whether everything outside the gate might just be different flocks. Bob makes the case that the sheepfold was never meant to be a bunker. Eric offers a sermon nobody asked for but everyone needed: the real danger isn't the thief outside — it's becoming one yourself.

Also: the mechanics of nailing your tongue to the roof of your mouth, a very small hammer, the disastrous children's sermon about recognizing your child's voice, and why you should never schedule bring-your-pet night right before dollar hot dog night.

John 10:1–10 (NRSVue)

"Very truly I tell you, anyone who does not enter the sheepfold by the gate but climbs in by another way is a thief and a bandit. The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes ahead of them, and the sheep follow him because they know his voice. They will not follow a stranger, but they will run from him because they do not know the voice of strangers." Jesus used this figure of speech with them, but they did not understand what he was saying to them. So again Jesus said to them, "Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. All who came before me are thieves and bandits, but the sheep did not listen to them. I am the gate. Whoever enters by me will be saved and will come in and go out and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Send us Fan Mail

CPTB is a conversational, funny, and thoughtful take on this week's Bible readings — for preachers, church leaders, deconstructors, and curious listeners who still love scripture, even when they're not sure what to do with it. We explore the text with humor and theological depth, without certainty, outrage, or easy answers.

Abby Evans (@itsabbye) and Erick Williams (@comicaledubs) are back as Resident Comic Theologians for a Short Take on Luke 24 — the Road to Emmaus — and the room immediately clock what makes this story so deliciously strange: the Son of God spending several miles being briefed on his own death and resurrection, presumably holding in the cackle.

Expect:

• Mormon missionaries knocking on the wrong door (it's Jesus's house, and now you're an undocumented squatter)
• "God-splaining" as a legitimate Christological category
• Erick's reverse Masque of the Red Death read on the whole encounter
• A serious detour through what "inspired word of God" actually means for ELCA Lutherans, which somehow involves The Rose by Bette Midler
• Bob's digression transgression, and his failure to apologize for it
• Abby getting into sourdough

Notable tangent: The Blair Witch Project, the Dread Pirate Roberts, and the Waterboy's surprising film legacy.

"I'm not an ICE agent." — Jesus, probably

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Luke 24:13–35 (NRSVue)

[13] Now on that same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem, [14] and talking with each other about all these things that had happened. [15] While they were talking and discussing, Jesus himself came near and went with them, [16] but their eyes were kept from recognizing him. [17] And he said to them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” They stood still, looking sad. [18] Then one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answered him, “Are you the only stranger in Jerusalem who does not know the things that have taken place there in these days?” [19] He asked them, “What things?” They replied, “The things about Jesus of Nazareth, who was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people, [20] and how our chief priests and leaders handed him over to be condemned to death and crucified him. [21] But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things took place. [22] Moreover, some women of our group astounded us. They were at the tomb early this morning, [23] and when they did not find his body there they came back and told us that they had indeed seen a vision of angels who said that he was alive. [24] Some of those who were with us went to the tomb and found it just as the women had said, but they did not see him.” [25] Then he said to them, “Oh, how foolish you are and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have declared! [26] Was it not necessary that the Messiah should suffer these things and then enter into his gl

Hosted by Pastor Eric Damon and Pastor Bob Schaefer.

Join the community!
Email us at cptbpod@gmail.com.
Find us at @cptbpod on most social media platforms.
More at linktr.ee/cptbpod

Music: Trickster by Phat Sounds
Free download: https://filmmusic.io/song/10864-trickster
Licensed under CC BY 4.0: https://filmmusic.io/standard-license

Scripture quotations are taken from the New Revised Standard Version Updated Edition. Copyright © 2021 National Council of Churches of Christ in the United States of America. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.