Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we bring on our best friend from home, Skylar, and immediately regret it because the stories start getting a little too honest… and a little too incriminating.

We kick things off with a full-circle moment, going all the way back to the original version of this podcast that never saw the light of day, mainly because some people were a little more camera shy back then (we won’t name names…Riley).

From there, we get into one of the greatest betrayals of all time. Landon books an entire Disney trip, flights, Airbnb, park tickets, the whole thing… just to wake up the day before and decide he’s not going. No explanation, no warning, just vibes. Meanwhile, the rest of us are wheels down in Florida wondering how the one person with all the confirmation numbers is sitting at home twiddling his thumbs.

Naturally, the Disney stories only get worse. We’re talking blacking out on roller coasters, gripping strangers for dear life, getting personally victimized by rides that absolutely should not feel THAT real, and realizing some people are just not built for amusement parks in any capacity. Some people being Riley Mitchell and Landon Mauk.

Somewhere in the middle, we spiral into childhood stories, fighting like siblings but not actually being related, and the kind of friendships where you can go from choking each other out to laughing ten minutes later like nothing happened.

And of course, we round things out with what really matters: food. Family events, homemade cooking that will bring a tear to your eye, protein pop tarts that should probably be illegal, and the ongoing debate of whether anything “healthy” is actually worth eating.

If you’ve ever backed out of plans at the last second, nearly died on a roller coaster, or trusted a friend who absolutely should not be trusted… this episode is for you.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week starts on Broadway, ends in outer space, and somehow makes a pit stop at a gas station for a chicken taquito in between.

We kick things off with a very dehydrated morning after Broadway, complete with boxed water, Fast & Furious driving, Chick-fil-A betrayal, and a five-point turn in the middle of traffic that absolutely should not have happened. From there, things escalate quickly into a full-blown investigation into space, including whether we’ve ever actually been to the moon, why astronauts are allegedly drinking recycled… fluids, and how we can send people to space but still can’t get WiFi to load Facebook Reels.

Naturally, we spiral into jury duty fantasies, where Landon is ready to treat a “unaliving” trial like a Netflix series, complete with snacks, conspiracy boards, and absolutely no regard for courtroom etiquette.

Then we take a hard left into childhood memories, including throwing a coconut donut at a pregnant teacher, finessing the school system, and the realization that we may have committed multiple minor felonies before the age of 18. We also address one of the most serious topics of the episode: Miracle Whip… and why it should never be trusted under any circumstances.

And just when you think we’ve run out of things to talk about, we introduce a new segment, Bloodline Brain Check, where we test each other on basic knowledge and quickly realize we should probably not be responsible for anything important.

If you’ve ever questioned the moon landing, eaten something questionable from a gas station, or have strong opinions about condiments… this episode is for you.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

Get your Rock The Country tickets and come hang with us in Bellville, Texas!

(https://rockthecountry.com/bellville-tx/#tickets)

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Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN)

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We’re back once again for another episode where we’re running on no sleep, high pollen counts, and whatever is currently attacking our sinuses from the inside out.

We kick things off with sleep scores, Hannah Montana at 3AM, and the realization that wearable tech exists solely to humble you and tell you your heart is older than your body. From there, things spiral into a full breakdown of Nashville shopping, where a $12 sweatshirt magically becomes $325 the second you hang it in a boutique on 12 South.

Naturally, we also cover mall fatigue, In-N-Out opinions, and why sometimes a Krystal burger just hits different… especially if the person making it looks like they’ve been through something. If nobody’s smoking outside, it’s probably not going to taste right and in fact we won’t be eating it.

We also solve the zoo debate entirely by deciding that being a zoo animal might actually be the best life available (like put us in a climate controlled room, feed us, and we’re set), followed by a very passionate discussion about chicken salad, why fruit does not belong in it, and the fact that Chicken Salad Chick might be one of the finest establishments on God’s green earth.

Then we take a hard left into Southern nostalgia, including boiled peanuts from a random truck on the side of the road, peanut butter banana sandwiches with mayonnaise (yes, you read that correctly), honeysuckle, blackberry picking, fig trees, and grandparents who carried salt shakers in their pocket like it was a personality trait.

And just when you think we’ve covered it all, we end on the real villain of the episode… pollen. Also known as tree sperm. Also known as the reason none of us can breathe and everyone’s car looks like a banana pudding.

If you’ve ever trusted a roadside boiled peanut, eaten something that shouldn’t logically taste good but does, or questioned why you’re personally being attacked by the outdoors… this episode is for you.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

Get your Rock The Country tickets and come hang with us in Bellville, Texas!

(https://rockthecountry.com/bellville-tx/#tickets)

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Welcome back to another chaotic episode of Bloodline Banter, where this week starts with tornado warnings that never happen, a $80 hat getting launched into another state, and a strong belief that meteorologists might just be professional guessers.

It of course wouldn’t be Bloodline Banter if we didn’t spiral into Nashville traffic, potholes with their own zip codes (like seriously you could go swimming in them after a rainy day), and why half the people on the road should have their license revoked immediately. Naturally, this leads us into a full debate on marriage, why it might just be a lifelong contract to be irritated, and whether anyone can realistically live with the same person for 50 years without losing their mind.

Things really take a turn when we get into Walmart, parenting, and the very controversial opinion that gentle parenting might not be built for every child. Let’s just say Mr. Leather makes an appearance and childhood discipline stories get… colorful.

We also cover Target self-checkout crimes (including one woman in a serious hurry with a very specific purchase), why grapefruit tastes like an exclamation point, and the growing concern that some of y’all should not be allowed to post your personal business on Facebook if you don’t want questions. Like you’re truly asking for it.

We also of course could not forget everyone’s favorite segment, Cousin Counsel, where y’all’s stories somehow continue to leave us shocked and confused. If you’ve ever questioned the weather app, gotten irrationally mad in a Target line, or felt personally attacked by a grapefruit… then this episode will really hit home.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com! Who knows you might even get a surprise call on the episode.

Get your Rock The Country tickets and come hang with us in Bellville, Texas! (https://rockthecountry.com/bellville-tx/#tickets)

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Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN)

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Welcome back to yet another episode of Bloodline Banter, where this week the caffeine took over and our intrusive thoughts were welcomed with open arms. We kick things off with a Broadway recap that includes cardboard signs that make absolutely no sense, a deep dive into whether panhandling is a full-time job, and a shocking Doritos rejection that raises more questions than answers. From there, things only get more unhinged as we discuss why sometimes the only way to fix anything in life is to simply hit it until it starts working again. Yes, this applies to just about everything.

Naturally, we also clock Nashville. Specifically, boutique pricing scams, why every store is named something after a 10 year old girl from the south, and how a $12 sweatshirt somehow turns into $120 with a couple painted flowers on it. At this point we’re convinced we’re in the wrong business. The caffeine really kicks into high gear when we question how words even became words, why a microphone isn’t actually a “micro phone,” and whether anyone in a Broadway bar has ever used the word inertia correctly.

And just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, we share some very exciting news which may or may not include us being at Rock The Country….

And as always, we hit cousin counsel hard and question y’all’s decisions. We genuinely don’t understand how y’all move through life.

If you’ve ever hit something just to make it work, questioned why things are named what they are, or felt personally victimized by a boutique markup… this episode is for you.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com! Who knows you might even get a surprise call on the episode.

Get your Rock The Country tickets and come hang with us in Bellville, Texas! (https://rockthecountry.com/bellville-tx/#tickets)

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week we learn that Instacart is a gamble, the ocean is actually just monster soup, and apparently there is a correct way to say “Walmart.” Spoiler: if you don’t put The in front of it, then you’re crazy.

In this episode we skip normal conversation altogether and jump right into the chaos you'd expect: our trust issues with grocery stores, outfit critiques, and whether dressing for success includes joggers, New Balance sneakers, and absolutely zero shame. From there it turns into a full investigation into things we thought were fancy growing up (if y’all had that Sonic ice in your homes, then you were living in LUXURY) and how one bad wave in the Bahamas can ruin your relationship with the entire ocean forever. Sorry, monster soup.

Naturally, things only get more unhinged. We debate caramel vs caramel, sprite vs sprat, pants vs britches, and why some people clearly skipped pre-K and it shows. There’s also a deep dive into screen time, TikTok algorithms, and the very real theory that Apple is personally sabotaging your phone battery every September.

And of course, Cousin Counsel does not disappoint. We’re talking dead goldfish funerals, potentially alive hamsters getting launched into the woods (like guys what?), and why some people absolutely should not be trusted with pets… or decisions… or honestly anything.

If you’ve ever argued about how to pronounce a word, refused to get in the ocean because something might eat you, or said “womp womp” to a hate comment and moved on with your life, this episode is for you.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

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Welcome back to Bloodline Banter, where this week the champagne takes over and causes us to have a full breakdown of why TJ Maxx is a hostile environment.

We kick things off with Riley’s attempt at a “new year, new me” era that lasted exactly one treadmill session before he nearly launched himself through the wall and decided the couch was a safer long-term investment. From there, we spiral into Cracker Barrel’s attempted rebrand (which should’ve constituted jail time), why some things should never be modernized, and the deep emotional attachment to biscuits served by someone with at least five stars on their apron.

Somewhere in the middle, we debate Landon’s strict office hours, why phone calls feel like a personal attack, and how Riley manages to call 12–14 times a day and still get ignored. There are also strong opinions about never leaving the apartment, DoorDash being a lifestyle choice, and whether opening your blinds counts as going outside.

We also get into apartment life, including neighbors who refuse to close their blinds, a dog that sounds like it could end your life, and a bird that won’t shut up. Like seriously y’all what are we doing. Let the guy fly away.

And because no topic is too small, we end up in a very heated argument about TJ Maxx, thrift stores, Walmart behavior, and why if you don’t put things back where you found them, you might be the problem.

And don’t fret, we answered your burning questions for Cousin Counsel and yet again y’all make us question if you guys have lost your sanity.

Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

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This week on Bloodline Banter, it’s the recap you all have been waiting for… the seven-day cruise has concluded (much to our dismay) and boy, do we have some stories for y’all.

We talk buffet strategy, the 33,000 eggs the ship went through in one week, and why calories do not count in international waters. Landon explains why he would absolutely clock a grandma to get to a lifeboat if things went south, Riley discusses his close personal relationship with chicken tenders and honey mustard, and we debate whether cruises are actually about the ports or just about eating every two hours. Which we think y’all know the answer to…

As we recount our glory days at sea we share stories from Cozumel taco trucks, an aggressively hands-on shot girl at Señor Frogs, and the mystery of Belize’s off-brand chicken tenders that tasted like they were blended before they were fried.

We also of course could not forget the cruise characters including Debbie, “The Doctor,” Denise from Seize the Day Travel, and a scooter-driving trivia champion named Bazinga who may have been the highlight of the entire ship. Oh and also honestly Theresa Caputo might need to take a gander at our boat for some lingering spirits because Amy Bradley was not necessarily a cruise character we were looking to encounter.

Cousin Counsel returns as well with some unhinged submissions that prove once again that the internet should probably come with a warning label. And for the record, we’d like to state for the 10000th time that we’re cousins. We feel like we shouldn’t have to keep explaining that at this point, but hey some of y’all are dumber than all get out. Submit all stories, questions, and shenanigans to be featured on Cousin Counsel to bloodlinebanter@thecastcollective.com

If you’ve ever gone on vacation just to eat your body weight in buffet food, chased down a white van for tacos in Mexico, or believed chicken tenders are a universal safe food… this episode is for you.

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Produced and Edited by: The Cast Collective (Nashville, TN)

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