QUICKIE: We Skipped Consent at a Lifestyle Club (And Pris Owns It)

Pris went full chaos agent at a lifestyle club — and she owns every second of it.

In this QUICKIE, Adam and Pris break down a real moment that happened to them recently: Pris spotted a hot couple, approached the woman, confirmed she was bisexual, and somehow ended up in a play room within about 60 seconds — all before anyone had a real conversation about it. The good news? She caught herself, pumped the brakes, apologized on the spot, and followed up the next day.

What came out of that moment is a genuinely important conversation about the difference between enthusiasm and enthusiastic consent, how to exit a situation you're not feeling, the pressure people face when they don't know how to say no, and what real accountability looks like in the lifestyle.

TOPICS COVERED

[00:01:00] — How it started: complimenting the couple from across the room
[00:02:00] — The approach: Pris confirms the woman is bi, grabs her hand, and... goes
[00:03:00] — The cubby: everyone's in, nobody knows what's happening
[00:03:45] — Pris reads the room and pumps the brakes
[00:05:00] — The apology, in real time and the next morning
[00:07:00] — What Pris did right (the initial approach was actually solid)
[00:08:30] — Enthusiastic consent vs. enthusiasm — they are not the same
[00:11:00] — The bathroom exit: a smooth and underrated escape tactic
[00:14:00] — Building a pre-approach ritual with your partner
[00:16:00] — Creative ways to exit a situation when saying "no" feels hard
[00:17:00] — When men assume something is owed to them (and why that's a problem)
[00:20:00] — The guy who gave Adam a high five mid-sex and the friend who just... chatted
[00:23:00] — What defines you in the lifestyle: how you handle your mistakes

KEY TAKEAWAYS

- Enthusiasm is not consent. Always get the enthusiastic yes before things move forward.
- The bathroom exit is a completely valid escape — and kudos to anyone who uses it gracefully.
- Real accountability is rare in this community. Owning your mistake, apologizing, and following up is not just the right move — it's actually kind of hot.
- Build a pre-approach ritual with your partner so spontaneity doesn't turn into a consent gap.
- Saying no is hard for a lot of people. Don't ever put someone in a position where they feel like they can't.

EVENTS & COMMUNITY

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CONNECT & MORE

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Today we are going there. Full send.

Adam and Pris sit down with Courtney Brame — founder of Something Positive for Positive People (SPFPP), host of a podcast with over 350 episodes, 500-hour certified yoga teacher, co-author of a sex education book, and one of the few men of color leading the national conversation on HSV stigma. Courtney was diagnosed with genital HSV-2 in 2013. Instead of shrinking from it, he turned that experience into a full-on movement — one that has helped thousands of people reclaim their identity, their sexuality, and their sanity after a herpes diagnosis.

This episode is not just for people who are HSV positive. It is for anyone who has ever had sex, is having sex, or is planning to have more of it. Which, if you're in the lifestyle, is all of you.

• Courtney's origin story — how a Saturday morning at his grandmother's house led to founding a 501(c)3 nonprofit that has saved lives
• Why 36% of people report suicidal ideation after a herpes diagnosis — and why Courtney decided that was unacceptable
• The truth about HSV-1 vs. HSV-2 — and why your middle school health class completely failed you
• Cold sores. Yeah. Those. We're going there.
• The lifestyle's unspoken assumption that "nobody here has anything" — and why that assumption is the actual problem
• How to have the disclosure conversation — Courtney literally walks us through his real-life script, word for word
• Why communicative sex is the safest sex — and what that actually looks like before clothes come off
• The 360-degree analogy that reframes everything you think you know about what a diagnosis means for your identity
• How yoga therapy became a cornerstone of Courtney's healing framework — and why nervous system regulation matters more than you think

Plus: Pris gets completely honest about her own ignorance around HSV, Adam gets real about the "turn off the anxiety brain mid-play" problem, and both of them leave the conversation humbled, educated, and genuinely better equipped to have these conversations in the community.

Find everything Courtney is building at spfpp.org — support groups (Mondays, separate men's and women's), one-on-one peer support, yoga therapy, ongoing surveys, resources, and more. Go find your people. They are there.

And as always, everything from Beyond Monogamy — every episode, video clip, blog post, events tab, and our 100% anonymous confessional — lives at www.beyond-monogamy.com.

If this episode hit different, you already know what to do. Like it. Share it. Leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. Word of mouth is how we grow this community.

We got a message that stopped us in our tracks — and honestly, it took us right back to the beginning. A listener found us on TikTok and sent in one of the most thoughtful, honest questions we've ever received: How do you prepare as a couple for your first lifestyle event when one of you is pumped and the other is... cautiously optimistic?

In this QUICKIE, Adam and Pris dig into the confessional of a married couple — 20 years in, incredible communication, and gearing up for a Halloween hotel takeover as their very first lifestyle event. She's got concerns. He's got excitement. And together? They've already got more going for them than they know.

We're covering the real talk around what it's like to jump into the deep end, why consent culture in the lifestyle actually makes it safer than you think, how to start receiving compliments without flinching, and the one thing every couple should do before they even walk through the door.

• Why this guy's approach to bringing up the lifestyle deserves a standing ovation
• What it actually feels like at a hotel takeover as a new couple — Adam's truth vs. Pris's truth
• Meet-and-greet events: why starting here changes everything
• The pressure to "perform" at big events — and why it's all in your head (mostly)
• How to learn to take a compliment without wanting to run
• Pre-event conversations every couple should have before the night begins
• Why the lifestyle is woman-centric and how husbands can stop pouting about it
• Pris's tunnel vision trick for feeling confident in any room
• Safe words, scenarios, and baby steps that actually work

Whether you're two weeks from your first event or two years in and still figuring it out — this one's for you.

Everything we've got lives at www.beyond-monogamy.com — every episode, every video clip, our blog, events tab, merch, and our 100% anonymous confessional. Got a story to get off your chest? Drop it there. We read every single one.

If this episode hit home, share it with a couple who needs it. You might literally change the direction of their relationship.

Love the show? Leave us a review on Spotify or Apple Podcasts — it takes 30 seconds and genuinely helps more people find us.

Hang out with us live every Thursday on FullSwapRadio.com — two shows, 2:00 PM and 7:00 PM Central.

Live Event Alert: June 20th — Club Eden, San Antonio, 9:00 PM. Come meet us. All details on our events tab at beyond-monogamy.com.