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The Spick and the Span

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The Spick and the Span

By: Pil Van Martin
Narrated by: Alex Wingfield
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About this listen

Imaginative, magical, wildly funny, and with a truly unique world, The Spick and the Span is an extraordinary, exciting fantasy middle grade adventure – perfect for fans of Jessica Townsend's Nevermoor, Jonathan Stroud's Lockwood and Co, Diana Wynne Jones' Howl's Moving Castle, and Terry Pratchett's Discworld.

Thanks to many generations of careless magicians, the city of Helm is overflowing with magic, which has made it a very dangerous place to live. Leave anything alone for too long and it will transform into something else: your house will turn to gingerbread, your teapot will start pouring pond water or – if you're really unlucky – your floor will turn to lava.

The magicians liked to pretend it’s them who keep the worst magical hiccups in check, but the real heroes of the whole sorry situation are of a wholly different occupation: equally well known but decidedly less respected.

The heroes of the city of Helm are the cleaners.

Ward, an ambitious twelve-year-old cleaner, wants nothing more than to belong to the League of Cleaners, who will grant him the prestige and popularity he's been looking for all his life – if only he can pass three near-impossible tests. Struggling toward this goal with a team he doesn't trust, Ward's world is upended when his friend disappears and mysterious magic-eating monsters appear all over the city and start tearing holes in the fabric of reality. Suddenly his ambitions are the least of his problems…

Hugely funny and exciting, and with an incredibly imaginative, original story, The Spick and the Span is the unmissable fantasy middle grade debut of the year – you'll never look at magic the same way again…

©2025 Pil Van Martin (P)2025 HarperCollins Publishers
Ghosts Humorous Fiction Literature & Fiction Monsters Multicultural Stories Scary Stories Science Fiction & Fantasy Magic Funny Magic Users Fantasy

Critic reviews

'Funny, wise, fantasy with brilliant world building. A Pratchett for today, it's a perfect funny middle grade fantasy.' – Louie Stowell, best-selling author of Loki: A Bad God's Guide to Being Good

'A hilarious, inclusive and heartwarming story … Fans of Terry Pratchett will love this!' – Philippa Leathley, author of Inkbound

'If you like your magic warm, inclusive and very funny read this book … if you love Pratchett, you'll love this.' – Patrice Lawrence, author of The Elemental Detectives

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Really enjoyed the story, narrative compelling and humorous. The delivery is brilliant and able to pick out characters. Loved the twists and turns of this book, keeping friendship and magic at the core, brava! Now, I suppose I ought to listen with my nieces...

Excellent plot twists with engaging delivery

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This book is fantastic. Although it’s a children’s book, it is so enjoyable to read as an adult too.
It’s very funny, the story is original and the characters are loveable and diverse.
The world building is detailed and really adds to the magic of the story.
If you like Terry Pratchett this is a great read too.
I cannot wait to return to Helm and all its people, it’s a really exciting new magical world.

Inclusive, magical, funny and captivating

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