Start here: thefaninthewindow.com/start

Most of us didn’t learn how to be in a relationship. We learned how to survive inside one.

Season 2 opens with a solo episode—and it goes somewhere personal.

Tressa shares what conflict used to look like in her own relationships: the fawning, the silence, the collected resentment, the flooding, the cruelty that came out without warning, and the leaving. And then the moment that broke her—seeing fear in her children’s faces and recognizing it. Because she had worn that face herself.

This episode is about what happens between understanding your patterns and actually changing them. If you’ve done the work—the therapy, the reading, the 2 a.m. conversations with yourself—and you’re still ending up in the same places, this episode is for you.

It’s not a character flaw. It’s a nervous system doing exactly what it learned. And nervous systems can learn something different.

IN THIS EPISODE

— The fawn-to-flood cycle: what it is, why it feels like relief, and why it always catches up with you

— What flooding actually is neurologically—and why the cruelty, the leaving, and the restarting are all part of the same pattern

— Why Tressa—a forensic nurse who testified about trauma in courtrooms—didn’t recognize it happening in her own relationships

— The difference between understanding a pattern (stage one) and what happens in the body when someone you love triggers it (stage two)

— How the Interruption Model™ works—and why Regulate has to come before choice, not after

— A grounding practice to close

CONTENT NOTE

This episode discusses inherited trauma, nervous system responses, fawning, emotional flooding, and Tressa’s personal experience of yelling at her children and witnessing fear in their faces. Please listen at your own pace.

In the U.S., call or text 988—free, confidential, 24/7. Outside the U.S.: findahelpline.com. You do not have to navigate this alone.

COMING UP NEXT

Lavinia Brown and Andrew Lynn—trauma-informed coaches, partners, and co-hosts of Becoming Untriggered (top 5% globally)—join Tressa for Episode 2. Subscribe so you don’t miss it.

GET THE BOOK

The Fan in the Window: How We Inherit Trauma—And How We Interrupt It

amazon.com/author/tressalbell

Coming Soon: You Can Interrupt It: A Practical Guide for the Parent Who Inherited Trauma and Swore They'd Do It Differently

If the memoir gave you the story, this book gives you the roadmap. Built around the Interruption Model™—the practical guide to actually doing the work, one pattern at a time. Stay connected at thefaninthewindow.com for updates.

FOLLOW TRESSA

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Substack: tressalbell.substack.com

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/tressa-l-bell-31830440a

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This didn’t start with you…but you can interrupt it.